• Bobbie Bobbie
    February 28, 2010
    HUSBAND IS BIPOLAR 2 WANTS A DIVORCE HELP I DONT WANT ONE
    Bobbie Bobbie
    February 28, 2010

    My husband is bipolar type 2 we have been married a yr. he has sent other women pics of his self emails and text messages that i have found hes currently in the navy stationed in ca. We have a house in fl that I'm living in he has asked me for a divorce and he wants me to file and sell the house and take care of everything but says hes not in a hurry to get the divorce.He blames me for not trusting him and checking up on him,when he has done these things for me not to trust him. But i have forgiving him for everything he has done in our first yr of marriage now he says he can't even forgive his self for hurting me so bad. I told him I wanna fight to save what we have built together in the two yrs we have been together but he doesn't want to.Should I let him just go and why does he not want to file for the divorce,maybe because him being in the navy and i have the pics and emails sent to his navy email account that may hurt his career I am in counseling for my trust issues with him but don't feel like its my fault for what hes doing. PLEASE HELP LOST

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  • Chris March 04, 2010
    Chris
    March 04, 2010

    Hi Bobbie, 

    He could just be manic now.  Maybe wait a month or two and approach him again.  He said he's not in a hurry to sell the house.

    It's hard to gauge a persons state when you're not face-to-face.  How was he on the telephone - did he seem manic? bouncing from topic to topic? not making sense?

    A lot of people say bipolar sufferers don't remember anything from their manic episodes, but I do.  You feel a lot of guilt & shame afterwards. 


    C

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    • Bobbie
      March 04, 2010
      Bobbie
      March 04, 2010

      Hes not talking to me at all, no phone call no text message , hes talking to the other girl,no contact with me whats so ever, hes said hes mentally and physically drained and beyond trying to make things work that we have hurt eachother to much to fix this,but i have forgave him more times than one so i don't understand he said hes not in love with me anymore but he will always love me.I love my husband and I wanna try to work it out but he isn't communicating with me at all.... 

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    • confused
      April 12, 2010
      confused
      April 12, 2010

      Bobbie,

       

      I was not marrieid but dated a BP for over a year.  He is not communicating with me at all.  During the year, he would tell me he did not want a relationship...communication stopped for weeks, or months and then he came back.  Said he always (still says this) loves me but how do they walk away???  He says it is control and I have forgiven him as well.  He told me he does not think he is worthy of love.

       

      During the times we were not together he went back to his ex.  Now he has been with her for 5 months.  Oh the hurt, I love him my friends think I am crazy.  I set the boundary no pulling me in and out and now he has been gone for 5 months.  I could read his manic and depressive but now when I see him I can't tell.  Tried counseling but he would only go to a couple of sessions and then quit.  The counserlors told him his ex is crazy and to leave as that we have the love of our lives...yet he is gone

       

      I do not know how to handle the pain either or the whys.  Trust is gone along with hope and faith.  I shared my story only so that you are not alone and hoping we could get some insight.

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    • Bobbie
      July 06, 2011
      Bobbie
      July 06, 2011

      He was in his mania state... he seems to be fine now. He is on medication he also seems not  to remember he just tells me he has  hade time to think clearly and doesn't want a divorce. It's really hard I love himand don't want a divorce but I alsodon't wanna keep going thru this anymore.... Thanks

       

       

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    • Bobbie
      July 06, 2011
      Bobbie
      July 06, 2011

      Thank you for sharing... It's hard loving someone with this type of disorder.. I don't know how much more I can take, his mother told me it would not be easy it's tough love all the way.

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  • Bridgett July 06, 2011
    Bridgett
    July 06, 2011

    I have been married to a bipolar man for fourteen years. Every year I have had to leave because he forces me out. He does drugs and is very abusive pshysically and emotionally. When the manic mode ends he cries and begs me back. Everytime I go back I regret it. Two years ago he was saying he didnt love me so I left and moved in with my parents. I went back because he always makes me feel sorry for him. Two weeks after I came home I found a letter and text were he had been having an affair for eight months. We went to christian marriage counseling and I didnt want to stay in the marriage but my counselor asked me to give him one more chance. He said he would make it up to me the rest of my life and he did for a year. He went to church and was doing better. I have recently caught him in another affair with his boss's niece. He told her he loved her and paid for her rent for her and her two children. I have two girls by this man. I have found out over the fourteen years there has been over thirty women he has had an affair with. He has bullied me, hid his phone and his truck keys and ignores me like im a stranger during manic mode. He tells the women hes in the process of a divorce. He takes his bipolar medicine but slowly gets off of it during the manic stage. He stays up all night for several nights in a row. He has been married before and has a seventeen year old son. He has taken his son to the waterpark with one of his girlfriends. He also took his son to one of his girlfriends house to spend the night while me and my two girls was home waiting on him.  The girlfriend and him was on drugs. We are now divorcing and he is asking me to stop the divorce. I have had enough and I have to protect my children from him making careless decesions with our children.  I am going financially under. He gives me three hundred dollars a month when I have gave up my career for his, for fourteen years. I am in financial debt for his carrer. He has no care, he is selfish. I am now going bankrupt while he is living the high life. My advice to you is to get out now. I have been abandoned, beat up, verbally abused, physically abused, blamed for his affairs, and watched my children suffer scared all the time. He bad mouthed me to his women and told all of the he loved them. If I stay anylonger my children and I will eventually get left for a younger woman. Ive been unhappy for fourteen years. Ive always tried to help him, and been hurt in the process. It doesnt get better, it gets worse no matter how many promises they make. Now I have to start over with my career and take care of my two children by myself.  It hurts and I will never understand why he did so many hurtful things in manic mode. I have now realized he cant change even though he wants to and wants his family back, I know now he will do it again.   

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    • Bobbie
      July 06, 2011
      Bobbie
      July 06, 2011

      Yes I'm not wanting to keep doing this overand over... I love himandIdo everything for him and I'm not sure if Iwanna do it anymore having second thoughts...he makes it hard

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    • Bridgett
      July 07, 2011
      Bridgett
      July 07, 2011

      I know that is how I have been feeling for fourteen years. Hes even trying to stop our divorce saying he loves me more than anything and he will change. He makes me feel sorry for him and always plays the victim. I have done everything to try to help him . When I went to a christian marriage counselor he said to give my husband one more chance, and if he did it again to leave. Well thats what I did and he had another affair. I think when he goes into manic mode he cant stop the drugs or affairs. I looked at the phone bill and he called me one time a day and I would wait on him to call me. He called and text the women he was having an affair with over a hunded times a day. He skyped them from his phone too. I have to worry about my children and myself now. He is going to bring me and my children home a disease or harm us in manic mode. I feel everbody deserves a chance to turn around but after he betrayed me again, I believes he thinks he can do whatever he wants and I will come back. My advice to you would be give him  another chance but dont go through what I have and sit at home waiting while they dont know if they want to be married or not in manic mode and then want you back when they come out of it. Mine has been married to me and lived a single life. I am thankful for my two girls but wished I would have left him fourteen years ago. This is the most hardest thing I have ever done and I have always loved him but I know it is best for me and my girls.

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    • Bobbie
      February 26, 2012
      Bobbie
      February 26, 2012

      Well it's been awhile but I have finally had enough of his disrespect and everything that goes along with his bipolar disorder and decided I'm not tough enough, I filed for my divorce...

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