Monday, July 20, 2009 smilenowcrylater asks

Q: Boyfriend doesn't understand why children and noise bother me now

I could use some suggestions and advice. I am a Bipolar one diagnosed 23 years ago right now in an acute manic phase. Currently taking Lamictal 200 mg, Prozac 40 mg and just started on 100mg of Seroquel four days ago.

I am having a bad reaction to the seroquel including inability to sleep, unable to eat or sit still as well as constant shaking. My boyfriend has been supportive up to a point. I love his kids and I always look forward to seeing them. I have been really ill for the last month cycling from depression to mania. I can barely hold it together most days. When I explain to him how I am super sensitive to noise, crowds and any additional stimulation he gets it until it has to do with his children. We have a 5 day camping trip planned this Thursday. I will be camping with a 14 year old, 12 year old, 10 year old and an eight year old with Down's Syndrome. Normally, I can do this in a breeze. Right now, I can barely form a coherent thought. I have expressed to him my apprehension regarding this weekend and he reacting with anger.

I'm not sure what to do. I do feel like I need to do what is best for me to maintain some sanity. How do I explain this in a way he can understand? I hope this makes sense because I really am not doing very well at the moment.

thanks.

Smile now cry later

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Answers (1)

Jerry Kennard, Health Guide

7/22/09 9:55am

Sorry to read about your current situation. Questions like this are always difficult to answer with a one-size-fits-all statement. Such a lot depends on your knowlwedge of your boyfriend and how best to approach the topic. Some very general advice would be to speak to him when you are alone and you have time. I think he would find it helpful not only to know how you feel but what he can actually do. Many men are task oriented. If you ask them to do a job they understand exactly what is meant. So, before you speak to him, try to organize in your own mind what it is exactly that will help you through this patch. Recognize his contribution and thank him. If things start to go to plan point out to him that he's being helpful. If things don't go to plan I think you can only try to remind him what you need. None of this may be perfect for your needs but if it takes the edge off it all helps.

smilenowcrylater

8/ 7/09 10:27am

Thank you for the pearls of wisdom. I haven't been all that great lately at acknowledging his understanding and patience. After reading your message, I made a point to do so. He did run some interference for me with the kids if I became overwhelmed during our camping trip. Unfortunately, I had a manic episode which resulted in a temper tantrum on my part over something completely trivial (I took the SUV and left the campground abruptly). The kids were upset and scared and so was my boyfriend. I have apologized over and over for my inappropriate reaction.

I am very aware of the damage this type of behavior causes in a relationship. I suffer extreme self loathing after an episode. My meds are stabilizing and I am doing better this week. Seroquel increased and added Cogentin for the shakes.

I feel like I only have a handful of "episodes" left before he walks away from me. I am a very strong, competent and successful woman normally not "needy." I just feel so fragile right now.

Wow. I only wanted to thank you and here I brought up all this other stuff...sigh...

Jerry Kennard, Health Guide

8/ 7/09 11:57am

It sounds like you're doing ok, so don't beat yourself up over the incident or predict the worse for the future. I'm sure that offering your boyfriend feedback and keeping him posted as to how you are doing and how he is helping can only be a good thing.

You seem to have been going through this patch for quite a while now. I wonder - is this possibly the result of a medication review/change or is it a pattern of behavior familiar to to? I'm not a medical doctor but I can't help but notice that you are taking fluoxetine (prozac) and I think there are 'issues' with this in cases of bipolar and rapid cycling. Do your own Google research and you'll see what I mean. It's not my job to unsettle you or call into question your meds, but I wondered if medication might be a factor in your unsettled moods?

Best Wishes

Q: Boyfriend doesn't understand why children and noise bother me now

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