I have been diagnosed as borderline and bipolar (yeah a great combo, my psychiatrist even said on his report to my psychologist "a very difficult person, not one I would care to treat") Luckily my psychologist said "poo,poo" and went on counseling. My question is what is so wrong with self abuse. Isn't drinking or smoking or morbid obesity self abuse. And those vices hurt others directly. Why is what I do (burning, hitting, cutting) so horrible. People get piercings all over and that is ok. So what is the problem? How am I hurting anyone with this way of dealing with stress? I'm not killing people with my drunk driving, filling the world with secondhand smoke, or burdening the healthcare system with diabetes, lung cancer, or heart disease. What is the problem?
Q: Why is self abuse so bad?
Hey, Fiona. You're really making me think, here. I never thought of self-abuse like this before, and I gather very few others have. I just assumed it was bad, period. But, like you said, other forms of "self-abuse" such as risky behavior, over-eating, drugs, etc are far more dangerous and have immediate and long-term consequences.
The one obvious bad effect is obviously in appearance. Cut-up arms are not exactly a guy-magnet, may alarm your friends, and may cause strangers to prejudge you. In a hot climate, wearing long sleeves to cover up may draw attention to yourself in ways you have not anticipated.
Also, you don't want to be acting on one of these urges in front of people. You are really going to freak them out and make yourself look very strange. Not the way to win friends and influence people.
Also, any time you handle a sharp blade or break the skin there are risks - the blade could slip and cause some real damage, you can incur an infection ...
Also - and I'm speculating here - there may be a risk of the behavior escalating, of doing violence to yourself to the point of causing irreperable harm.
But, like you said, for right now this beats abusing drugs and engaging in other seriously destructive behaviors. It sounds like you have a very sympathetic therapist, so this would be a good topic to raise.
To readers: Please feel free to jump into the conversation.
Again, you really made me think. (Haven't done that in a long time. :) )
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hey sweetie.
I am a recovered cutter. Im sure I dont need to explain the exilhirating feeling and utmost relief when the blade slices through your skin. When all the pain and anguish washes down the drain. I know honey.
But can I tell you why I think cutting is such a 'bad' way of coping... Its because the scars physically lasts forever. binge drinking, smoking pot till your ears pop, driving at top speed (without killing yourself of someone else) all is a temporary fix and coping strategy. And its not that we really care about what other people think of our scars. Its one day, when you have finally recovered and found peace with yourself, that you look upon them and you feel ashamed and you hurt for the girl that did this. We dont need to be reminded for the rest of our lives of the hurt and suffering we went through. Also you dont want to one day explain to your little girl what happened to your arms. Do you?
To stop cutting is about protecting your future.
Good luck sweetie.
p.s. what usually helped for me, was to put off the music, get out of the house and take a walk and talk to one of your closest friends or family members. Just talk. You dont need to explain.