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I have Bipolar NOS and i have been under treatment for many years,with little effect.I cant keep a job so i don't have insurance and so my medication has been on and off.I am broke and at witts end.I have seveare depression that lasts days and it seems as soon as it passes i am going manic and then i piss off everyone and make a complete ass of myself and do stupid things that wind up hurting me.i have been on and off illegal drugs for years too.i can't seem to do anything in moderation,weather it be sex,drinking ,smoking or drugs.I drive like a crazy person and go days without sleep.I forget to eat some times for days...Then i'm depressed again and i sleep for 3 or 4 days straight and wind up dehydrated from not drinking....I also hear voices that are not there,and hear my name called out when i'm alone.I have tried to get government help but they refuse to help me and my doctor won't see me without money..I think about death a lot when i'm depressed and do harmful things when i am manic.I can't live this way either.I am thinking of declaring myself indigent and checking into a state hospital.Normal people can't understand why you do the things you do..They tell me "just stop doing this to yourself" I am so tired of this. I wish i could help you..but i can't help myself.