Has anyone ever stolen money by thinking it will turn into millions in order to feed all the poor and starving children in the third world?

I am 30 yrs old and feel i have had bipolar since I was a teen. I would go through stages of being totally manic. When manic I would be convinced that I was sent on a special mission to change the world. I would feel that once I changed the world that I would become some sort of superstar. While manic I feel as if Im above everybody else and that I should be treated like a movie star. While at work I would be afraid to even take a break in case in ruined my superstar status. I would turn against my nicest work collegues over things that I thought they had said or done. I would work, work and work. My boss would think i was the best worker he ever had. I would go for days on end without sleep as I felt sleeping would ruin my mission and also because I didnt feel tired.

I would accuse my husband of being unfaithfull etc.... I would constantly look out for signs. Everything had a meaning.

I took money from work by thinking I was going to feed poor children. This was my special mission and felt it was ok to do this. I would then hoard the money in a locked box in the countryside. How I was going to feed the children, I dont know.

However this went on for a period of a few months. My husband felt that there was something wrong with me and I would argue with him for even thinking this. I still continued to be the perfect employee. I would constantly hear voices (usually 2 angry male voices) telling me to take the money as it was my mission to help the poor children.

Any way after a few months of this I woke up one morning after 2 hrs sleep in 3 days and had a massisve reality check. It was like a massive bang. I thought it was a massive bad dream and tried to convince myself that i didnt do everything. I drove to the location of the locked box in the country praying that if it wasnt there then it def was a bad dream. How wrong i was. Inside the box there was thousands.

I felt totally depressed. I started takin panic attacks. I felt like I was experiencing hell. I raced home and tried to put together my actions over the last few months. I really didnt know what to do. I knew i had to see a doctor but was afraid of being sectioned and told i had a severe problem. I could not tell my husband.

I felt the only thing I could do was own up to takin money, but didnt know how. I stupidly decided to take money once more and get caught so this hell would be over. I done it but wasnt caught, even though i tried. A week later thankfully my manager noticed and even asked me to investigate it. Yes, that is how much i was trusted so I took the opportunity and admitted what i had done but was too ashamed to tell her my reason for it.

I was suspended from work and as soon as i got home i poured all to my husband. He was totally understandin and started to explain my behaviour from his point of view over the last few months. He got me to my doctor and she thinks im bipoloar and im waiting to see a phyciarist. I also face criminal charges and being sacked.

Im so glad this is now out in the open as it has made me face up to my illness.

I feel so ashamed for what I done not only for my family but for at work also. I just wish I was normal. My husband also handed back all the money i had taken as it was all still in the box.

If I had a choice of criminal charges or bipolar I would pick criminal charges

This is only one example of me being manic as it is my worst. I live in fear of being like that again.

Has anybody ever experienced anything like this?