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Monday, December 22, 2008 Modern Occidental Philosopher, Community Member, asks

Q: Do you ever isolate yourself when feeling down?

I can spend days inside only to leave for groceries.  My habits don't change, I still go to bed and get up at normal times and I don't sleep the day away.  In fact Im not even that lonely.  Its just that family is starting to treat me like I am crazy.  Starting to wonder about that myself actualy.  I was just wondering if anyone else does that too.  Im not afraid to leave the house......just don't have any motivation.  Is that bi-polar or depresion?  I don't get manic and I don't get too depressed.  I have been diagnosed with depresion before....can't stand being medicated though. 

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Answers (21)
Donna-1, Community Member
4/24/12 8:41pm

I always isolate myself when feeling down.  I'm afraid I will say things that make other people think I'm strange or crazy, because when I feel down, I tend to say what is on my mind and it doesn't always come out right.  A little craziness DOES come with my depression...probably because I have schizophrenia too.  And I want to announce it to everyone -- HEY, I'M FEELING REALLY WEIRD -- LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT IT!!!!  Somehow a little manic and over-the-edge.  I find myself interrupting people to tell my own story, even though I know it's rude.  I can't stop myself!  So I stay inside, alone, minding my own business and try not to socialize unti I have calmed down.  It's better that way.

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confusedwife, Community Member
12/22/08 10:02pm

I don't think you're crazy.  I am not bp or depressed either and I can find plenty to keep me busy right inside my home for days on end.  I do tend to sleep a lot though but it's cause I am so used to having a schedule that doesn't allow sleeping late.  So when I get a chance, I enjoy not having to do anything at a set time.  It is wonderful to get up when you feel like it and do whatever you want whenever you want.  As long as you enjoy your time (not avoiding anyone or anything and not depressed or having bad thoughts) tell your family and friends to do a little less minding your business.  Then relax and enjoy!!!  I'm jealous!!!!

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Erin, Community Member
12/23/08 5:10pm

My cave, thats what I call it.  Some might say I'm hiding, I'm just comfortable here.  Its safe here.  I don't have to be "on" like you do in public. 

 

Unless you start to feel trapped, I wouldn't worry if your crazy.  We all are, aren't we? 

 

Force a 5 min walk.  Down the street and back.  Perhaps it will remove any guilt from staying inside.

 

:)

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Sill, Community Member
12/25/08 4:07pm

Hi,

 

I'm Bp1. I love to stay at home and when I'm down I enjoy it even more. It's cold outside and it's comfortable inside. When I feel down I don't like to be exposed to other people because they tend to ask how I am or to mentioned that I'm more introspective and quite. My corner is the only place where I can be myself. If you don't feel bad then try to get the best out of the situation. Of course if you feel that something is wrong then contact your pdoc.

 

Kaninchen

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Daisy, Community Member
12/26/08 7:21pm

I do it all the time. As a matter of fact I've been doing it for the past couple of months. Bipolar has been a part of my life for about 15 years. I have also been battling Cancer for 13 yrs. From all the chemo treatment I have developed COPD, and Epilepsy. As far as my state of mind I find myself going inward. It seems so much easier to cope! Before I know it I haven't left the house in a week!

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DAVID PARISI, Community Member
1/26/10 12:46pm

I HOPE YOUR FEELING BETTER- I STRUGGLE WITH THE SAME PROBLEM IAM 29 YEARS OLD AND LIVE IN NEW YORK- I HAVE BAD DEPRESSION AND EXIETY AND OCD ITS SO HARD BUT WHEN I FORCE MYSELF TO GET OUT I DO FEEL BETTER- IAM SCARED IAM GONNA BE A LONLEY OLD MAN IN A STUDIO APT BROKE- BUT I WANT YOU TO HANG IN THERE IF YOU EVER NEED A FREND MY EMAIL IS DAVIDJPARISID@AOL.COM HANG IN THERE LOVE DAVID XOXOXOXOXOXOXXOOXOLaughing

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david, Community Member
12/26/08 11:13pm

If you are bipolar, when down episodes occur, you only want your own company and thus avoid going out at all costs. Avoidance being a key word. Comments from others, family or friends, though perhaps sincere, are irritating. Only the person suffering bipolar knows how hard it can be to get through the down stages of the cycle or engage in conversation. When I am on a downer, I am totally disinterested in everyone else but, everything that is said to me is registered. As far as family/others making you feel crazy, I have been through that too but, you are not crazy, you are just on a higher level of intellect than most others. Remember, bipolar is just another clinical word and it does not label you in any way, shape or form. Just try to manage your life and activities better than you have been doing and, if by chance, you "connect" with someone else who has been diagnosed as bipolar, then good for you as that can only be positive.

 

David

Australia

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Abi, Community Member
12/27/08 1:08am

I feel the same way and i do not believe any thing is wrong with me. i never feel lonely. Being by your self is sometimes the best thing ever. your self is the best company. I understand how you feel, you are not crazy

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DocJane, Community Member
12/27/08 11:16am

It's really common with bipolar depression to isolate. I used to do this all the time when I was very sick. It has helped me to recognize that I was doing this and to plan ahead ways to get out of isolation very early on. Here are some of the things on my list.

 

Call a friend and talk for 5-10 minutes.

Get out of the house, if only for a few minutes to go for a walk.

Attend my regular groups (Toastmasters, church, support group).

Make a business call. (This is the hardest because it is the biggest step into the real world.)

Go swimming and talk to other swimmers in the dressing room.

 

When I feel like isolating, it helps to do small things that get me out of the house, not all-day things that may break the isolation but exhaust me at the same time. If I act as soon as I notice myself isolating, it usually doesn't take much to break the cycle. If I have been isolating for a long time, it takes more effort to break the pattern.

 

Isolation is both a symptom and a trigger of depression. When we change the pattern, it can help us get away from depressive thoughts that are easier to think when we are alone. It is also dangerous. if we are feeling suicidal, to isolate. Days of isolation can also add up so that we lose much or all of our social life. We soon start to feel terribly alone with our illness.

 

Of course, your family is worried about you. Becoming isolated is obviously not what you do when you are feeling well. It would, of course, be nice if they didn't call you "crazy" but that may be the best they can do at this time. You're certainly not "crazy" but you are showing signs of an illness that is serious. They may not know how to respond to this, but perhaps they could help you at these times, if you ask them to do something simple to get unstuck from the isolation.

 

Don't forget, too, that many people with bipolar disorder have tried to go without medication, and it hasn't been productive in the long haul. You might want to read some of the blogs on this site and see for yourself what others say about medications and their usefulness in getting to feel better.

 

DocJane www.BeyondBipolar.com

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DAVID PARISI, Community Member
1/26/10 12:47pm

Laughing

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O Baby 8, Community Member
5/14/11 2:55am

Yes most definately I feel isolated but whether it is me or my husband working I still am.   I usually spend time with the TV and my Working Dog who is intuitive with my moods.  When I am down, she literally lays on me all the time.  It is a struggle to fill and empty the dishwasher or to do the laundry weekly.  I wished I was a marrionette!

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lmmg1940, Community Member
12/27/08 12:59pm

yes

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falloutgirl, Community Member
12/28/08 9:08am

hahahahahahahaha

 

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falloutgirl, Community Member
12/28/08 9:10am

There is a difference in living alone and isolating yourself.

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tmcberg, Community Member
12/28/08 2:58pm

Some times I do but most of the the time I make mysafe getout around others.

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creative, Community Member
12/29/08 1:44pm

I live alone. I've been in the house since Dec.19th. I'm not answering the phone either. I just couldn't face Christmas this year! I'm sure my family thinks I'm a wretched person but the overwhelm prevented me from participating. Now when I think about snapping out of it and moving around... I am feeling overwhelmed about all the apologies I have to make to family and friends. Help!!! I'm stuck!  Recently diagnosed.

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Ginny, Community Member
5/14/11 1:25am
I stay isolated. Several years now. Don't answer the door or phone. Have no interest in who or what's out there. I've got My pets. I love them. They love Me. Reply
Still Searching, Community Member
1/ 2/09 10:14am

I find myself staying at home when I feel depressed or overwhelmed.  I still go to work and put on showtime, but when I come home I have to be alone.

 

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sweetbutterfly0111, Community Member
9/14/11 7:21pm

I do isolate a lot as well. But my isolation is by periods. Just like one of the replies said I put on a show when I go to work, then I can't wait to get home to be by myself. What makes this so hard is that I have a beautiful 9 year old. She is completely different from me, she is always laughing and has this sweet sense of humor. She brings light into my world. My isolation does not bother me too much. Sometimes I wish I handled it differently, be more outgoing during these periods. My family do not understand me and take it personal. I have tried to explain that it is not them, it is me and my desire to isolate myself when dealing with many problems at the same time. I am almost 40 (38) and want to just make this feeling desire disappear and live more of a normal life in spite of my problems.

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arlene.stevens@yahoo.com, Community Member
1/ 5/09 11:59am

i feel very isolated and alone and am having it hard to even get out of bed or even go to the groceries.  I am frightened I am getting very much sicker

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arlene.stevens@yahoo.com, Community Member
1/ 5/09 12:03pm

I am so frightened I am starting to sleep the day and am only getting 2 hours of sleep a night.  I am tterrified will get mania again and end up in the hospital.  Can anyone give me some advice please?  I am in a desperate state.      thank you so  much.

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penpoltergeist, Community Member
3/29/09 10:55pm

yes all the time  People are so heartless and hateful no matter where you go

I can't even go do errands, laundry or go to the movies without this constant

uncomfortable feeling  I usually stay to myself, get done as quick as possible and

I don't try to initiate conversation anymore  It's bad enough there is too much

social demand on a job and at the moment I am not so at least that is off of me

I live in a seniors community now because of my husband's disability and all they have

done is spy on me and put theirselves in my path to provoke responses out of me

There has definitely been trouble on the horizon and I cannot understand it but I

do have theories  So, I don't go out anymore than what I have to   I feel I need a

safe space to keep my stress down

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ELEA OR, Community Member
4/30/09 7:18am

I HAVE BIPOLAR AND I ISOLATE ALL THE TIME, RIGHT NOW I AM FEELING REALLY ALONE AND DONT WANT TO END UP BACK IN THE HOSPITAL.  I HATE TALKING TO PEOPLE AND AM HORRIBLE TO MY FAMILY.

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Julia, Community Member
12/28/09 1:32am

I have isolated myself since I've been recently diagnosed. I'm in need of support but struggle with talking to anyone but my family about it. I'm 21 years old, have been living with bipolar unknownly, though have managed to accomplish quite a bit so far in my college and career goals. BUT since diagnosis I've really avoiding any decision making or seeing friends until I am better. Personally, I hate it. And wish to be around people but know I won't be comfortable and at the moment don't know how to share things with others what's been going on in my life. I don't know if this will help! It feels nice to vent to other BP's. Good luck on your journey!!!

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xx10, Community Member
10/11/11 7:16am

Hey Im 17 and i experience that way too but I always motivated to go to school and church every sunday hmm I think you need some inspiration dude.

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Theshadow, Community Member
12/ 7/11 7:52am
I have a couple of friends but I have spent so much time alone that I kind of prefer it even if it isn't what I really want. Reply
godfreygirl143, Community Member
4/24/12 6:03pm

I can see that these are old posts, but I just found this by doing a google on "why do I isolate myself from people" and felt the 'need' to post.  I too tend to isolate myself from people and society.  It's not because I'm antisocial, but I find lots to do on my own.   I have a puppy who I work on training....I've had her since she was 8 weeks old and she's now 9 months old....and I love to read, find lots to do on my computer, I crochet and sew, watch movies I get at the library, find things on cable to watch, love to cook and experiment with different dishes....in a nutshell, there's just a lot to do on my own.  My kids live in another state and all of my girlfriends have moved away little by little and I just don't mind my own company.  I walk my puppy and I just find that she is MUCH more enjoyable to be around than people.  As I said, I'm not antisocial, but just don't feel 'the need' to be around people that much. 

 

So....I guess what I'm saying is don't be so hard on yourself about isolating UNLESS it's because of being depressed....then it's a problem.  But there is nothing wrong in my eyes with enjoying (or not minding) your own company.  There are many people out there who can't stand to be alone so go out and do things they should NOT do just to "be with someone".   It's okay to be comfortable with yourself. 

 

I have had SO many days when I've just laughted out loud at my puppy....in fact, she makes me laugh every day....and enjoy training her and just being with her and me.  She does not gossip, does not judge, does not care if I have makeup on or if my hair looks good or bad, doesn't care what I am wearing.....well, you get the idea.

 

In fact, today I got up, played with my Missy (my puppy), did some dishes, cleaned out some drawers, did some searching and reading on the computer, played a couple of computer games, went to get gas and a few groceries, read some in a very good book, did some crochet on a hat I'm working on......etc. and am now listening to some music I burned to a CD from the computer.....and I haven't talked to ONE person except for smiling and saying "HI" to a few......it's OKAY to like your own company and feel good in your own skin.   Just my humble opinoin....or I should use computer slang and say IMHO.

:-D

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By Modern Occidental Philosopher, Community Member— Last Modified: 03/24/14, First Published: 12/22/08