Wednesday, June 11, 2008 Vanessa asks

Q: Has anyone attempted doing an intervention with a Bipolar person dealing with drugs and gambling?

I've been with my husband for 10 years and he's had his problem since I've known him I just didn't realize it, I just thought he had a bad temper. He doesn't take medication because sometimes he thinks he has a problem and sometimes he doesn't. We have 2 children of our own and I have 2 from a previous relationship he has 1 from a previous marriage. He does not see his daughter from his previous marriage because of problems that they had and they were similar to the problems I am having now, but of course didn't know till I was too into the relationship.

Currently my husband has been unemployed since February, he's fallen into doing drugs and gambling, spending all the money I make. We've been making rent only because of his mother help but just a month ago he ruined that relationship because he stole from her. His mother still loves him but will help us no longer, she wants him to get help. We were thinking of doing an intervention but we are not sure if it is the best thing to do. If we do plan on this I would be asking his family and he doesn't have a big family to be part of it but should I look into bringing in a Psychiatrist or Therapist? He won't go to one so currently he does not have one.

Should I not go this route and the next time he gets depressed should I just call the cops and tell them that he is threatening suicide which he does do at least once or twice a month. Any suggestions would be greatly welcome, I don't have money to get a facility to help and pay them to come help with an intervention. He can be violant and with me doing this it will mean that I broke his trust and his family will have to know all his secrets like the drugs and gambling. I'm not sure what to do but I know something has to change even if it means the end of us, I havn't left him because I am scared of what he will do. At one point I did leave him 2 years ago and I was pretty free I should have stayed away but I thought he changed and really wanted to be well. but he didn't and now I regret getting back into the relationship.

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Answers (2)

6/11/08 11:20pm

hello,

I hope that this message reaches you before something else happens. I was just scanning through and saw your Question. Yes I have been assisting people with Drug & Alcohol related problems for the last Five years. My job is very different from the rest of the team I work with because I am a " Role Model " for the people I work with. I have never done drugs or alcohol , but I had a parent that did drink and I have a Sibling that did drugs , so I think I have seen abit of the world. Ok at my job I am a Peer Specialist.

A person who shares their Life Experiences with others who have similar paths. I try to give Inspiration and hope to others that either need assisting, want it or need to be shown that their is Light at the end of their Tunnel. Also to let people know that they our not alone either.

I my self am " Bi-Polar" living everyday with a bad temper that is controlled not only by medicine, but with the Inspiration that other Peer Specialist gave me in my time of Crisis. I will tell you that the symptoms never go away , but with practice they can be Managed. Yes, I have something similar to gambling!! I have a problem with spending money and not thinking about the "Consequences" til it is to late! From what you have said that it must be frustrating .

I guess if you want my opinion when the gambling starts its hard to stop because of not thinking first . Also when the person who is spending money: this could be their way of (tryin to feel a Gap or Void ) in their life.

If you need anymore Advice on this Subject I will try to assist you in anyway.

Take Care, Jo

jfree

6/13/08 11:04am

Hi Vanessa:

My uncle is bipolar and he just took up drinking and doing drugs again after 18 years of being sober. He started living with his mother( my grandmother) but was making her life a living hell by telling her how horrible his life was and how much worse living with her made it. He also stole my grandfather's medication (while he was on his deathbed) which forced my family to realize the severity of his case. My parents had been helping him with money but after they heard all of this, they decided to do more. They put a bar on his driving wheel since he was drinking, doing drugs and driving which obviously upset him to no end. But, what really made him see his ways was when his kids went over and broke down telling him how disappointed they were in him and how he needed to get help or else they weren't going to see him anymore. His ex-wife also refused to let them see him - and his kids are the only thing he has. So, two days later he decided he's go to the hopsital. They have a crisis unit at one of our hospitals here and you don't need insurance for it, but that was just for a few days. Now, my family has had to put up 10,000$ for another hospital that will provide him with a month long recovery process. They gave our family a discount, but perhaps you could look into other alternatives. I think the family definetly has to get involved in the situation, regardless of whether they can help financially. I hope this helped a little.

Julie

Q: Has anyone attempted doing an intervention with a Bipolar person dealing with drugs and gambling?

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