I want my life back

Hi, thank you for your response,restored my faith a little bit that people do actually care...

Well im having serious problems with medical assistance and lack of it. When i was first diagnosed about 5-6 months ago my GP gave me Lamotrigine tablets 25mg and then 2 weeks later increased to 50mg, 2 weeks later 75mg and then Dr said i disnt need to come back until they requested me.I was then seen by local Mental Health side line outreach team where i was assessed by a nurse asking me various questions and told that for the moment i only needed to come back to their centre every other Friday and speak to someone about how i was feeling and they would give me the lowdown on Bipoal and controlling it. I went twice and at the time suppose I was at a goodish period and not a great deal was discussed, mainly this person I saw liked to draw pictures of shoelaces explaing learning to fasten them was likelearning Bipolar !!!

I made myself an appointment to go back and see my GP about 3 weeks ago, he wasnt interested one bit in me he just gave me another increase of the lamotrigine of100mg.

The past 2 weeks have been the hardest and darkest period of my life. I lock myself away in my bedroom for days on end either staring at the ceiling or crying. I went back to see the bipolar lady and explained exactly how bad i was feeling and she said she'd speak to one of the dr's and see what he thought and then when i went back week and half later she'd tell me his response.

A week and half seemed like a long long time and i felt i was crumbling more and more each day and then at weekend i felt suicidal. My Husband phone the clinic and was told someone would call him back monday with emergency app which they did today for this Thursday. Best of all in this joke of a system is that i have never since being diagnosed up till now ever seen a physciatrist or anyone of that level. I'm being judged on ifi need one by people who know only what they get told from the clinic.

My days are spent sleeping til past 2oclock, laying in my room or popping to see my friend and then as i am now, bedtime is usually about 7-8am, Insomnia doesnt come close, i even take zimmervaine sleeping tablets which are having no effect.

Sorry to ramble but i feel better just getting all that off my chest.

Thank you for taking the time to listen to me.

That's a great shame. I hope that by the time Thursday comes around you get some firmer outcome. By the sounds of things you live in the UK? If this is the case you might be interested in joining a local support group (assuming one exists in your area) or maybe a UK forum as well? Have a look at the MDF Bipolar Charity site for England & Wales. They may also be able to direct you towards support and resources.