Wednesday, December 10, 2008 johnmorr61 asks

Q: I found something that shows my wife (with BP) has cheated on me. Do I confront her about it?

I have had suspicions that my wife has cheated on me for over a year. This morning I found an old series of text messages where she and someone else talk about last night, great kisser, no regrets, sorry I left early, etc. She is on meds and I am trying to be the supportive husband, but I'm loosing it here. Do I confront her with what I found? If so, how do I do that? If not, how do I get through it?

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Answers (3)

Cmefly

12/11/08 12:44pm

I have watched some marriages explode in my mother's family. I highly doubt the anxiety/pain/fear/anger is going to go away without talking to her. Even if you do not say something, your body language and overall attitude towards her will change and she will eventually pick up on it.

Kinda sounds like you were snooping. That probably will not go over well. But you definitly would not be the first significant other to do that.

Personally, if I was in that situation I would more than likely go talk to a therapist before confronting her. I always want advice when dealing with big issues if I can bring myself to the point of asking for it. I think the advantage of seeing a therapist is to help find a way to deal with it and confront her without doing something you may greatly regret. Plus you may find some comfort and support that you really need to handle this situation without losing your head. A therapist would probably be better than a friend because friends tend to be biased.

Relationships are supposed to be honest for the most part right? You gotta talk to her.

I hope you and your wife can find some peace soon without too much heart ache!

12/13/08 4:31am

If she is on meds (and they don't help all the time 100%) i am assuming she is in therapy and i hope you are too. this diagnosis is to much to deal with on your own

this is still no excuse for her behavior. she knows what goes on with her but sometimes a lot of times in the midst of a manic episode we throw all caution to the wind.

however since my husband and i found out i was bi-polar and I've been taking meds and therapy the meds don't help much. but i have been faithful to him, before that.....lets just say not so much and we have been married for 15 years. Now I know the reason why I acted out sexually all the years I was in junior high and high school and after and even with him -

but now it is no excuse to use my diagnosis as an excuse to do what i want. i cannot always (hardly) control my mood swings but I know my triggers and he does too. he tries to be a suportive husband -

if you really are trying to be supportive i hope you are trying to find out all you can about this diagnosis. but you should definatly ask her about this encounter - i dont know what she does in her mood states but you do so you would know the best time to bring it up, but it does i belive need to be brought up.

Blessings

maddy

5/25/09 9:09am

Why wouldn't you confront her? Just because she had bipolar doesn't mean she can do no wrong.

Q: I found something that shows my wife (with BP) has cheated on me. Do I confront her about it?

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