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Tuesday, June 29, 2010 go0fyone, Community Member, asks

Q: I need your can I help someone who doesn't think anything is wrong? She won't admit she

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Answers (1)
bwolf, Community Member
7/12/10 11:01pm

Your topic isnt complete as your last sentence got cut off.  But if you are asking for advice about how to get someone who might be bi polar to admit their problem and seek help, my answer is simple: you cant, they have to do it and more importantly they have to want to do it.  I dont mean that in a cold or mean way.  What I mean is that someone who is mentally ill but not yet being treated and is in denial of their illness or that anything is wrong is very much like dealing with an addict who doesnt think they have a problem.  The sufferer must hit rock bottom to the point that they themselves finally agree to be evaluated.  Its the only way, because only if they trully and honestly wish to be evaluated will they actually take those crucial first steps when you can get a mental health professional involved.  Until then all you can do is try and minimize any damage that the sufferer can do to you or anyone esle in your immediate family by setting boundaries and limiting her control over you or anyone else in the immediate family.  Beyond that there really isnt much more you can do, as sad as that is.  The only real help you can give will be after they seek help, because then you can be active with their doctor and with them to play a role in their treatment.


I was married for almost 6 years to a woman who is bi polar but in denial of it and never treated for it.  In the end all I could do was set boundaries and establish consequences for her behavior.  The most serious consequence was that if she didnt get real help for her problem that I would leave her.  After years of her emotional and verbal abuse and her refusal to get help I made good on my promise and I left her and I never went back.  But the last thing I heard about her was that she still had not gotten help and that her behavior has worsened.  So even now she has not hit rock bottom enough for her to admit her problem and see help.  Hitting rock bottom for a mentally ill person is also very much like an addict.  The sufferer's behavior has to get so out of hand that the consequnces for them to continue in their behavior and not get the help they need far outweigh any independance they feel by remaining in denial and continuing as they are being untreated.

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By go0fyone, Community Member— Last Modified: 02/13/13, First Published: 06/29/10