Hi Shawn,

I see your dilemma. It is certainly the case that active sexual experiences are sometimes sought by people during the more manic phases of the disorder. Having said that plenty of people with bipolar maintain stable relationships, whether or not mania is associated.

I'm guessing the tranquilizer you refer to might be lithium, which is a mood stabilizer. It could of course be a tranquilizer. The description of 'numbness' could possibly be associated with medication, but it's often a term used when people are depressed. Certainly during a manic episode you would not necessarily need to seek out the 'rush' you describe in relation to cheating.

You are trying to understand why your girlfriend does what she does. She may not even know this herself - or she may. For your own peace of mind I feel you shouldn't focus too much on bipolar as the cause (the only cause) of infidelity. This would place your girlfriend in a situation where her behavior is dictated totally by bipolar, which is rarely the case except in the most extreme circumstances. You have obviously been communicating quite well and it is just possible that your girlfriend is attempting to shift the dynamic of your relationship in a way she feels is comfortable for her.

You probably feel hurt, confused and lacking somewhat in direction. From what you say you feel your girlfriend is sending you some ambivalent messages. At the end of the day only you can decide whether your investment in the relationship is to your mutual advantage or whether you are feeling damaged by it.

It can be difficult to step back from a situation like this and try to evaluate it for what it is. Can you talk without bipolar being used as the justification for the decisions being made? Will it ultimately be less painful to end the relationship and move on with your life?

I wish you well with your decision.