i am in a nightmare situation, i am completely overwhelmed by a depressive episode-there is no way i can work in my new nursing job (that i took on when i was hypo-manic)
we need the money, but i just can't face ever going back to it.
i have struggled with bipolar all my life, and i am just so tired of it. i had many long term sick in previous employment, and they were ok- but every time it was just such a huge struggle to start over. this being a new employment, i just feel like i've blown it. when i applied for the job, i was off-meds and feeling so well, i was in denial about bipolar, so i never mentioned it. so i'm probably in big trouble too. i can't face actually talking to my employer, i'm unable to talk just now anyway, i've completely withdrawn and won't answer the phone or go out. i just want to send in a letter of resignation, and accept the fact that i will have to pay them back for too much annual leave taken and also sick pay. it's like a great big huge cloud over me- i need to sort it out, but i can't- it's a nightmare.
does anyone out there think i am reasonable to give my career up at this stage- i am only 41, but bipoar is so disabling.