Linda...You pose some very difficult questions to which there are no easy answers.  A 19-year-old in denial is not easy to deal with, but your friend (and her daughter) are not alone...it happens so often.

There must be a program in your community that can help.  If she were my daughter, I might try working with her at home, but it may be too difficult, considering your situation. 

I assume she has a doctor - ask him/her for some assistance getting the young woman into a program that can help her.  Until she can learn to take her meds on schedule, she will probably continue to be in and out of hospital.

It's very kind of you to be helping your friend.  I'm sure it means a lot to her.  Things will work out for the best - even though it's hard to conceive right now.

Judy

Hi, Linda. You are a saint for helping out. Two things:

1. Kids are notoriously noncompliant. They are generally in denial about their illness and they don't want meds governing their lives. They often have to fall down several times before they finally get the message.

2. Meds are not the great magic bullet that her mom is desperately hoping for and that those misleading TV ads and the docs who prescribe them lead us to believe. As a general rule, they accomplish only part of the job and are loaded with side effects.

Your role:

1. Emotional support for your friend. She's going to need it.

2. Listen to the kid. Really listen. If you have no interaction with the kid, advise the mom to listen. That poor kid has been lectured to death on 'take your meds or face the consequences.' It doesn't work. Believe me, I gaurantee the kid has a lot to tell you about her idiot psychiatrist who doesn't listen and meds that are making her feel worse rather than better.

It's amazing how fast progress occurs once people feel they've been listened to. You may find the kid willing to take her meds - provided that she feels she is part of the solution, and that someone like you is willig to help her work at finding one.

Some suggested leading questions:

1. I hear these meds have horrible side effects. Would you care to talk about them?

2. Someone told me these meds make you feel like a fat zombie eunuch? Is that how you are feeling?

3. I heard these psychiatrists have a real God-complex. Is that how you feel about the person treating you?

Once you have a dialogue going, you can mention that the goal of long term treatment is to refine the doses, but this depends on the patient being informed and making sure the psychiatrist is fully aware. Over time, the patient will take the lead role in the doctor-patient relationship. But first, we all have to work together in keeping you (the kid) out of crisis. You get the picture ...

Again, you're a saint. Hope this helps ...