This applies with equal force to both parties. The stress we put our partners through can be interpreted as a form of abuse. Likewise, so can the apparent indifference from our partners.

Each partner has the right to set their own boundaries, make their own rules, interpret abuse as they see fit. And ultimately each has the right to leave the relationship if their needs are not being met.

Each party also has the right to expect certain accommodations, even if they make no apparent sense to the other party. If a bipolar partner expresses the wish to leave a crowded room right now, this means right now, not five minutes from now. Conversely, the “normal” one who pulls their partner from the room right now, this very minute, has a very good reason for doing so. 

Naturally, whether bipolar or “normal,” we do not wish to put our parties through unnecessary suffering. But we may find ourselves in situations where our partner can no longer put up with us. We may be “too bipolar.” They may be “too normal.” 

Too often, things deteriorate beyond the point of reconciliation. The saddest - and wisest - choice we may make may involve acknowledging the inevitable.