Clipping Off My Hair: From Mohawk to Muppet Style

My hair began falling out on day 14, exactly as I had been warned. That night, after we put Cameron to bed, I ceremoniously gave my husband the clippers. Leaning over the sink as I watched both hair and tears fall, I couldn’t help but worry about what my son’s reaction would be the next morning.  As I was worrying about our son, my husband was worrying about me. 

Eric, in his typical light-hearted style, proceeded to first give me a mohawk, then shaved me into Beaker from the Muppets and then finally left one little curl coming down across my forhead.  The two of us laughed together as we cried.  Somehow, it felt liberating to laugh so hard in the midst of our grief. 

What Would Cameron, My Baby Son, Think of My Bald Head?

The next morning came. I put a warm fuzzy hat on to disguise my baldness and made my way to my son’s crib, praying silently along the way for calmness and strength no matter how my son responded.  

I placed Cameron on his changing table.  Smiling up at me, he reached for my hat. As he pulled it off I began to cry silent tears, afraid of what his reaction might be. Would he be scared of me? Would he recognize me?

First Cameron smiled, then began to giggle.  I let that sweet, sweet sound replace my fears and sense of loss. Cameron reached for my naked head, placing a hand on each side.  He just rubbed it and giggled again.  That giggle just filled my heart with such relief that my tears of fear turned to ones of joy. I just thanked God.