Seven and Counting ...

I've had 7 cycles of Taxotere since August of this year and will continue as long as my body and my mind can take it ... I guess. I've had positive CT scans which indicate my tumours are shrinking slightly. That is all the news I need to stay on course however, it's not quite that easy.

Chemotherapy wears on the body and on the mind. My body is tired and each cycle just takes a just little bit more out of you. One flight of stairs causes me to 'huff and puff'. Standing or walking for any distance at all is too much. The trick for me seems to be ... if I can just sit down I'm pretty good and/or lay down and closes my eyes for a few minutes ... it refreshes me enough to continue.

Now mentally, chemotherapy wears on me too. Emotionally, I cry much easier, I anger much easier ... in general, I'm just mentally weaker. I don't have much patience and of course the famous 'chemo' brain. I have difficulty remembering things. I used to be quick with my thoughts ... you can forget that now.

Unfortunately, I'm feeling like my life is all about the cancer and I'm constantly 'putting out the fires' ... dealing with the symptoms of the chemotherapy or the medications relating to it. Some days my only goal is to get through that day or that night.

And then I do have to remember that some of the side effects of chemotherapy treatment are mood swings and depression. The challenge is to somehow juggle all of this and carry on as normally as possible.

I have a personal blog that helps me share my thoughts and feelings. Sometimes the thoughts are ‘darker' than others and then there are times when my thoughts are ‘too rosie' ... generally when I'm on the steroid Dexamethasone.

Because the ‘highs and lows' are part of the cancer experience, I feel people should know they exist.

Thanks for listening.