Fine 1 day, Walking Depression The Next

On a good note my mastectomy went good and I am not that sore anymore. More at night than through the day. But somedays I just want to cry all day. Then the next day its like nothing is bothering me at all. I know I have so much more in store for me. I finally meet with the Oncologist next Wednesday, so hopefully I'll finally know whats ahead. I know how greatful I should be about finding my lump and being alive, but all I think about are my breast. I feel so shallow b/c I know some women don't even care. But I feel so abnormal. I havent healed yet so I don't have a prothsesis yet or anything. Even though that's not what I want I just want reconstruction. I know I should be worried about what lays ahead with chemo, but that's not what is on my mind most of the time. It's not having BOOBS. I'm curious to know if anyone ever gets reconstruction while going through chemo?? I go out when I have to and when I go out I have on a jacket no matter how warm it is outside. It prolly doesnt hide the fact that I have no breast but I feel more secure. That's a shame! Well I know I'll get through it but it's going to be hard.