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Personally, one thing I'm proud of is that I was never embarrassed for my mom throughout her experience with breast cancer. No matter how awful my mom looked, somehow it just wasn't embarrassing. I can picture her nearly bald head and tubes and pasty whiteness, and it just wasn't embarrassing. And I think I can speak for most kids who have moms with breast cancer when I say that somehow, all of that superficial crap just goes out the window. None of my friends ever thought anything of my mom's physical changes except to ask how she was doing.
To the kids out there, no matter how old you are, if you're friends don't get the consequences of breast cancer and don't know how to handle it, get new friends. And to the mom's with it, don't worry about the way you look. Moms pretend they don't care if they embarrass their kids. And yes, sometimes if it's ridiculous, it can be funny I'm sure, but when it comes to the way a mom looks, the tables turn. Moms do care what their kids feel and think, and making their kids feel embarrassed isn't enjoyable.
However, no one needs to worry. I felt a lot of things while my mom was in chemo, but embarrassment was never one of them.
Awkward (check)
Scared (check)
Euphoric (check)
Embarrassed (_____ imagine the blank space)
Yeah sure I never knew what to say or what to do. I never really got the whole ‘give your mom a hug and tell her you love her' thing, but I never had a time where I felt like I didn't want to stand beside her. And I think I can speak for most kids on this point as well. And moms, if you don't believe me, just ask your kids and watch their faces grow red. (And inwardly smile to yourself), because that'll be sure to embarrass them.
So basically, what I'm really trying to say is: shave your head and wear your tubes like you're some futuristic, automatonic part human ready to pupate into the all knowing goddess mom of whatever little street you happen to live on. Your kids are fine with it. They may have cared before the diagnosis (before your new superhero figure), but they don't now.
Sorry, I'm not a kid, I'm Peggy Hamel's "other mother". The Thanksgiving after her chemo (or during it) we all gathered as usual at Tommy's house. Rick and Peggy were always the first ones there with their huge contribution. This year they were the last. Suddenly they burst into the room and Peggy whipped off her hat with a "ta ta" and with her bald head and her great big smile she was truly the most beautiful one in the room. So beautiful just remembering it brings tears to my eyes. The greetings were loud and happy. Then we all collapsed with laughter when Rick came in and had his say as to why they were late. I think Nik was the last one in quietly as usual without any fanfare and I saw the pride in his face as he looked at his Mom. Jean and Mac must be so proud of her. We are all so delighted to have her in our family.