Hair, Or Lack Thereof - What Happened After My Mom Shaved Her Head

I wasn't present for the actual event, but I do remember the before and after. I can't say my mom acted quickly. She really let it get to the final strand before taking the next step, but she finally shaved it all off.

I'm remembering her hair of course, or lack thereof. I suppose it would have been something if my mom was a young hipster who could pull bald off, but she was very middle aged, and the bald look was a little over the top for her. I'll tell you it didn't look good, not the slightest. But I, nor anyone I knew, cared in the least. Like a school play, it was hellishly normal, but normal all the same.

I can remember wondering why it took her so long just to shave it all off. I was watching a favorite television show of mine, sitting on my bed and thinking, when my mom walked into my room. She hadn't done the deed yet and her hair was stringy or mostly absent. She came in and sat down to watch the show with me; it was one of her favorites as well. When my mom went out she would wear a hat, but in our house there really wasn't any point. She wasn't hiding anything from me or my dad.

We just sat there silently watching. That was the first instance I can remember where I had to consciously keep my eyes on something that wasn't her head. The silence seemed to add to her decrepitness, and it was dusk so my little room was sullen.

I wasn't embarrassed in the least but I felt as though I didn't know how to act. I ran through my mind a series of thoughts worth nothing, but still troubling. How do you tell your mom she's ugly, but that she could do something about it if she just shaved it all off?

"You need to get rid of the rest," I said.

"Yeah," she said without looking at me, "You're probably right."

"It looks terrible, really."

"I know."

And the next day it was gone. With her hair went the last of her life before cancer.

After that my mom began to adopt a pseudo Buddhist attitude based around inner development and spirituality. In my minds eye that was the change that saved her.

If I were able to slice a line through time at the moment where she shaved her head, I would label the first half ‘dying' and the second half ‘living.' Like I said, I wasn't there for the actual event, but I do remember the before and after.