On Tuesday this week I received a visit from a very nice woman called Judy who runs a business here in Melbourne fitting women for bras and prostheses after mastectomy. It's a great idea as it protects your privacy and she can bring the products she knows will be suitable for you and you won't have to negotiate a confusing maze of bras and breasts. She also was able to give me helpful information on how to claim back the cost ($A365 and fully refundable) from our Government-funded health system (DO support your new president in his efforts to fix your health system despite the best efforts of the evil health insurance companies).
Well... There is much to laugh at with my new falsie. Firstly, it is so heavy. It takes a fair slab of silicone to fill a D-cup. I figure that I could really become an Amazon now. Not only am I now set up to use my bow-and-arrow, but my bra could become a secondary WMD. I can see myself swinging it round my head and using it to wallop into unconsciousness any misguided male who is uppity enough to believe that he is good for anything more than breeding purposes.
Oh, the delights that breast cancer brings into our lives! I now own a boob-in-a-box. It has to be washed each night and tucked up in its own little bed. In the morning it is a novel experience to put on a bra that weighs 1.5 kilos (over 3lb to all you Americans). Just think what all those women who have never had breast cancer are missing!
As I was washing my breast last night it occurred to me that it resembles a pink blancmange when you sit it on the kitchen bench nipple-side up. One is so tempted to decorate it with some whipped cream and cherries.
All jokes aside I am amazed at how comfortable it is to wear and I look "normal" when dressed. My chest feels nice and cushioned and protected and my clothes look better. When I go out I don't worry any more that someone will notice something odd about my breasts. Mind you, at age 56 and having reached the age of invisibility, no-one looks at my breasts these days.
I find I have mixed feelings about my new falsie. It's grotesqueness makes me resort to jokes and silliness, but it feels really good when I'm wearing it. So I'm glad the government has bought it for me. But deep down I'm still thinking, "Roll on reconstruction".
By the way, I have decided to christen it Fred.
Hi Sue,
Boy did you bring back memories!!!! Again, I laughed out loud.
I remember when I went to the local "mastectomy" shop and got fitted for my prosthesis (what a word!). I tried on all these different bras with all these different shapes, weights, designs of breasts. It was quite the process. My mom was with me and I remember we were acting quite matter of fact. Like it was an every day thing to be trying on bras and breasts. Funny to look back on it now.
I also remember how good it felt when I actually found one that, when I put my clothes on, looked "normal". That was one of those "steps" towards normalcy at that time. I do remember taking off my bra and boob at night and thinking how heavy it was...felt great to take it off!
I never named it (now I that I've heard "Fred" I wish I would have!!!!). But I did write a sharepost a long time ago where I almost lost "it" cliff diving in Jamaica!!!! Ha!
I'm at the tale end of reconstruction now. I am looking down at my awesome new perky breasts...I never had cleavage before...my reconstruction has gone wonderfully well. I do not miss the prosthetic...and I am so glad I did the prophylacic mastectomy. I've done everything I can to never have to go through this again. And now I am going to enjoy having "boobs"....never had them before...so...here's to having even more fun with the aftermath....Sue, not sure what your plans are...if you plan to keep "Fred" around...excellent....if you plan to replace "Fred" with somebody else later...that could work, too. Either way, keep on with the humor of it all. That is really what got me through it...before you know it...you'll be looking back at it all, too.
Take care,
Love,
Koponen
Hi Koponen! Lovely to hear from you. I'd love to hear about your reconstruction as I'm planning on going down that path myself. I'm seeing a plastic surgeon in June and I'd like to have it done in September. However, when I had my first appointment with the radiation oncologist he thought I might have to wait as long as a year for it. That was a BIG disappointment as, in my mind, I won't really be finished with this damned disease until it's done. I still have a glimmer of hope though as I've found that the different members of the medical team don't always know a lot about what the others do. The surgeon I've chosen is very good at the vascular side of the surgery and he may say that it's OK to go ahead. Whatever he says, I have at least discovered that I'm tough enough to deal with it.
I'll start working on the jokes in preparation.
By the way, I'm working on a book as I go through my treatment focussing on the humourous side of it all. I find a lot of the stuff written gets a bit earnest and I reckon one of the best therapies is laughter. I've made it my mission in the onco's waiting room and the clinic to get a few people laughing. My book is called "If Life were a Cartoon - Turning Mountains into Molehills". Whether it gets published or not doesn't really matter as I'm really enjoying doing the writing. Sometimes I laugh at my own jokes - good insurance if no-one else finds them funny!!
Keep well and enjoy your cleavage. Have a laugh at the men who start talking to your boobs.
Sue