After my visit with the plastic surgeon on Friday, I think reality set in. This was the first time all week that I actually felt like crying. This was also the first appointment I had to face alone, so maybe that had something to do with it. I really think it was the pictures and the fact that, I, a seeming healthy 30 year-old married mother of four and five year old boys, will be having surgery to have both of my breasts removed in less than two weeks. I have never had any major illnesses and have only been hospitalized to have the boys. I guess now, I'm scared. Today, all I wanted to do was sleep. I didn't really get out of the bed until 5pm which is not like me at all. I guess that was my form of a "pity party." I do believe it's okay to have a pity party as long as you understand that life must go on. So maybe now I'm going to be able to focus on what's ahead and beating this. I have a Bone Scan and a CT Scan on Thursday, so I will be at the doctor all day. But I have to start planning for my boys and cleaning my house well so that we don't have to live in complete chaos for the weeks that I'm instructed to stay in bed. I know cleaning the house may be the last thing on some people's mind but I like order and when everything else is out of control, I can control the state of my home. (My husband has always said I have some OCD tendencies..LOL!) But that's my week! Now it's time to learn as much as I can, stay as close to God as I can and continue to pray for peace in my spirit.
Be Blessed!
MD, a day sleeping after all the stress of a cancer diagnosis sounds like a good idea to me. And you are not the only person who has responded to a personal crisis by getting the house under control. Once you get through this next round of tests, you will have a better idea of how extensive your treatment plan will be. Keep on taking it a step at a time. It sounds to me like you are doing about as well as anyone can after getting such a shock. You'll probably have plenty of other days when you need to cry, sleep, or clean. I think it's better to have an occasional pity party than to deny your true feelings or try to be superwoman. As your needs become more apparent, don't hesitate to put your friends and family to work to help with childcare, cooking, or rides to the doctor.