Life Goes On...

By MD Monday, September 08, 2008

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I haven't written in a while, which I suppose was intentional. I have been in several strange moods lately and I have been tired. I am now 17 weeks pregnant and starting chemotherapy on Friday. I have very mixed emotions because I am afraid to be happy but wish I could share my good news with others. I have opted not to tell anyone until after a few chemo treatments to see how the baby holds up. I am now seeing a "high risk" OB, so I will be monitored closely. Other than being more tired than usual, I don't really feel like a "cancer patient" (whatever that's supposed to feel like.) I have been back at work for a few weeks now and the kids are in school so for now, life is pretty normal. Over all, I know that I am really blessed. This situation could be so much worse. I see people when I go to the Oncologist who are having trouble walking or look really weak and then they look over at my husand and I as if to say "what are ya'll doing here?" I guess my thought is, cancer can not rule my life and it sure has not damaged my fashion sense..LOL I get up everyday and get dressed and put on my make up even if I'm only going to the doctor. All I can say to others is, focus on the good days. I try to enjoys hanging out with the kids or going shopping with my girlfriends. I will update my information after the first treatment.

I Am Not My Hair...

Comments (8) | Add comment

Maria Gifford, Editor

9/ 9/08 1:45pm

Hello MD,

Good to hear from you. I wanted to make sure you see this recent SharePost by our expert Laurie Kingston:

Pregnancy and Cancer Treatment: More Questions Than Answers

http://www.healthcentral.com/breast-cancer/c/92880/39645/pregnancy

It couldn't be more fitting for you right now. Hang in there, and keep getting up and getting "dressed up" -- that can help SO much!

Write again soon to keep us posted on how you're doing.

Best to you,

Maria

Lyn

9/ 9/08 9:19pm

I definitely understands the fear you are experiencing but I am still going to BEG you, do not be afraid to be happy! Your mindset is extremely important during chemo and during pregnancy. Try hard to speak and think of the situation in the best scenario possible. Like in two years you have an appointment with the pediatric doctor who tells you your child is fine and then the next day your visit to the your cancer treatment doctors who tell you "your test are great! This is the only choice we have, that is, to speak into your situation. Do not give room for any others thoughts because God is good, your baby is good and you are good. Hold on to positive thoughts.....

As far as the chemo "red stuff" goes, I did not vomit once! Again, anticipation is worst than actuality. People used to look at me also during chemo because I would have my ipod on my favorite songs, smiled as much as possible (don’t fake it, cry if you feel like). Also, the weaker patients you see are encouraged and strengthened your energy.

Praise Report, I completed my Masters while taking chemo. The last day of chemo was June 12 and my last day of school was June 6th. Cancer does not have permission to rule our whole life.

(I would never compare my degree completion with your pregnancy but what I am saying is God can do all things. He steps in with strength when we get tired.

Please know that someone in Tennessee is thinking and praying for you and yours!

Lyn

9/11/08 7:03am

I certainly thank God for your spirit and yur encouragement. Ironically, I got your message this morning and went to the OB yesterday (a long appointment!). He is very optimistic and said that he is already impressed that the baby is growing and developing very well. EVerything looks good and my family and I are just going to pray our way through. My husband and I gave ourselves permission to be happy and to celebrate because the best news of all is that we are finally going to get our girl! (We have two boys.)

I am glad to hear that you completed your Master's and that you are so proud of that, you should be! Congrats! I, like you, have decided not to let cancer rule my life. It is just another hurdle in life but it does not, will not control my life. Thanks for your encouragement!

~MD hanging tough in Texas

PJ Hamel, Health Guide

9/11/08 9:24am

Here's a thought I've always liked: Cancer is a rock in the path. Step over it; the path will still be there. Sounds like you're stepping just fine, and over some VERY big rocks. But there are many hands reaching out to help you as you climb over those rocks; those right there with you, and those of us who only watch from afar, your virtual friends. And God is holding you in the palm of His hand, as well. I like to think of God as the power of unconditional love. Love is the answer—for all of us. I'll keep you and your family (and baby girl especially) in my thoughts and heart. - PJH

Pam

9/11/08 12:53pm

I am sending prayers your way. You have the same out look as i did and im doing not to bad. You keep up your easy going life and i know how your feeling. I had Drs saying to me "you do know your sick right?" id just say yes i do but i wont sit in a corner crying about it. Life does keep going even though we are sick. Im so glad to see you wrote this!! Way to go and yes please keep up updating ok. Ill be looking for your new posting. You will be surprise on wat your Little great bundle of joy can handle. This baby will be a miracle baby and you keep a postive outlook ok. Love :Pam xoxo

9/11/08 1:46pm

Hi MD, I hope you know about the 'Pregnant with Cancer Network'; they are a great source of information and support. Four years ago almost to the day, I began my chemo treatment at 16 weeks pregnant with my second child. Thankfully we both survived! My daughter was born 2.5 months premature and weighed only 2lbs 15oz, which is uncommon even given the circumstances and is most likely due to some heart problems I was having. Still, even with those problems we are both doing fine now. My daughter turns 4 in November and is as perfect as anyone could want. The best of luck and health to you! K in SC

Melanie

9/11/08 1:53pm

Oh dear... I can only imagine what agony you're going through worrying about your baby. Cancer is such a threat for your own health and now a new life is threatened by it too. I understand why you don't want to tell anyone, but you really need some pray warriors in your corner lifting you up. I read some of the other posts about women who had successful pregnancies while battling cancer and I hope that gave you encouragement. Technology is so advanced from even a year or two ago. I will pray that God puts the best technology, technicians, doctors and nurses together for the both of you. There is so much to LIVE for! Take heart and know that I'm in your corner.

Mika

9/11/08 4:01pm

I want to say hang in there but you already know that. The biggest reason for you to be strong is your baby. You were given a gift during these hard times, which will only make you work harder at being strong.

Keep your style up because life doesn't end here. Its beginning. The more you feel beautiful the better your recovery goes (or so I've read.)

I've never experienced this personally but I know I'm a good person to talk to as far as style goes. I help my little cousin out a lot after she was diagnosed. Take care of yourself and your baby...

Life Goes On...

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