Thursday, May 31, 2012
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my mother has breast cancer! shes only 32 with 3 kids.

By crystal Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Cry I'm 14 and my mom is 32 with stage 2b breast cancer.  i have 3 year old sister and a 12 year old brother.  its hard watching my mom go through this. im trying 2 do some thing 4 her but i just dont know what.   if u can think of anything let me know thanks.

PJ Hamel, Health Guide
10/29/09 6:36am

Hi Crystal - The best thing you can do for your mom is to love her, which I'm sure you do. Try to help with your little sister when you can. I know you have a life of your own to live, and being 14 isn't the easiest time. But if you can be there for her a little more - when she seems like she might want to talk, or looks like she needs help - that would probably be good. Her biggest worry is probably that she's dropping the ball with you kids. That's why I say, love her, and let her know you do. Good luck - she's lucky to have a daughter like you. PJH

10/29/09 1:25pm

The fact that you'd even ask what more you can do to help means you are a caring, loving daughter and I'm sure your Mom appreciates all your efforts.  Treatments can make her tired so watching your little sister so she can take a nap would give her much needed rest.  Making dinner once in a while and taking over vacumming would be pretty helpful too.  Lots of hugs and "I love yous" are the best medicine.  Your Mom is really lucky she has 3 great kids!

Phyllis Johnson, Health Guide
10/29/09 5:49pm

Melanie and PJ have great suggestions on how to help your mom.  My suggestion may seem a little strange because you may think this is a bad time to burden your mother with your worries.  However, asking your mom questions about her treatment and telling her what worries you can reassure her that she knows what is happening with you.  One worry moms have when they are in treatment is how their illness is affecting their children.  If you're feeling sad or worried, letting her know how you feel will give her a chance to give you the facts about her situation.  Most people with Stage 2 breast cancer will get well and be just fine.

 

Don't try to be a grown-up yet.  Fourteen year olds need to have fun with their friends.  Stepping up a notch to help around the house is a good idea, but be sure to allow time to be a kid too.

Anonymous
131mom
11/ 4/09 9:07am

The best thing you can do for your mom is to have great communication with her. She is more worried about what you are going thru than herself. So, please, don't be afraid to ask her questions about her treatment and how she is feeling. Giver her lots of hugs and kisses and smiles.  I just had my double masectomy on Oct 9th & my 8yr old son asks to see my scars and I let him (I also have a 6yr old son but he doesn't fully understand the extent of it). It makes him feel secure that I am not hiding something from him.  And just be 14, your mom wants you to be a kid.  Yes, it is scary for all, but she will fight to be there for you.  Remember, you can always talk with your guidence counsler in school.  It is ok to let it out with someone.

2/ 4/10 5:09pm

thank u

Laughing

Anonymous
131mom
2/ 4/10 8:32pm

anytime. how are you doing? how's your mom? 

 

how were the holidays with your family? 

 

take care.

2/15/10 11:54am

im ok i guess. my mom just got her port out but she mostlikely will have an other sugery to cut out her overys and stuff like that but if the insurance covers it then there going to chop off both breasts.Cry

PJ Hamel, Health Guide
2/15/10 12:39pm

So, it sounds like she's done with chemo - that's a big help. It's a long haul, Crystal, but together, you'll make this journey. It's OK to be discouraged, or sad, angry, anxious... and sometimes you'll feel happy and hopeful. All good. Just put one foot in front of the other every day, do the bet you can, go to bed, and start the next day fresh. We're here for you - PJH

Anonymous
131mom
2/15/10 4:03pm

glad to hear you are doing ok.   i take it your mom is done with chemo then, which is great!  you and her can scratch that off the list of things to do.  she will start to feel better now that she is done with that, and so will you.   Smile

 

try not to think/see that you're mom is getting her breasts "chopped off".  look at it like she is removing what is making her sick.  the breasts she has are damaged and she needs to throw them out and get new ones.   i know this is a very simple explanation but that is how i explained it to my boys and they understood the concept & it helped them feel better. 

 

i was surprised myself to learn how the ovaries affect breast cancer.  you say your mom is getting them "cut out". try saying she is getting them "removed", it is a play of words but on a positive note.  it is hard, but try to use positive words and it will help you see things differently.   breast cancer is fed by estrogen which is produced by the ovaries.  that is why she is opting to getting them removed. 

 

and remember, your mom has the option to get reconstruction after the mastectomy.  you can ask her if she is going to get it done at the time of her mastectomy surgery or wait.

 

you'll have good days & not so good days. on the not so good days, ask her to hold you.  your mom will like that. Smile

 

 

 

 

 

11/ 5/09 8:55am

Hi, sweetie.  You are getting good advice.  This is a scary time for your family, and you don't have to carry it all.  But I understand the concern you feel. I was twelve when my mom had a hysterectomy, and it was frightening because she had a rough time with it, and even my father cried. 

 

I was doing the family laundry during that time, to help out, but I was not handling the whole household, because a kid can't do that.  You are a few years older than I was during that time, and I know you want to help, and that is so great.  What a special kid you are.  But remember that, while you are helping with home and family, and encouraging your mom. it will do her heart good for you to still be fourteen, to take care of your homework and whatever your normal chores are, and to enjoy school and friends and activities.

 

My mom also had breast cancer when I had grown up, and that was scary, too.  Glad to tell you she has not had it since, not in 25 years!  There is a lot of hope for your mom. 

 

I also had breast cancer a few years ago, and went through a lot, and I know your mom will have better days and worse days.  So there will be need of understanding and forgiveness at times, and always prayer and always belief in the good outcome.  A hug when she needs it, and space when she needs it, and jokes when she needs them, and lots of love.

 

Bless you, I will say a prayer for your mom and your family.

 

~J

 

 

2/ 4/10 5:11pm

thank u so much

 

PJ Hamel, Health Guide
2/ 4/10 5:27pm

Crystal, how is your mom doing? OK, I hope? How are your brothers behaving? Sending you good energy and blessings... PJH

11/ 5/09 12:09pm

You are a sweetheart! I am also sure you a blessing to your mom.

There is no need to worry... your mom will beat this and be healthy when she finishes treatment. All you can do is help around the house, help take care of your siblings, and most of all take care of yourself. It will be hard on you seeing your mom go through this and you don't want to wear yourself down.

Keep your mom's mind on happy things also.

I am not going to lie and say it will be easy because it won't, but she will get well.

I will keep your mom in my prayers

Take care!

Anonymous
crystal
2/ 1/10 4:58pm

thank you so muchLaughing

Anonymous
SHAM
11/ 9/09 3:30pm

I WAS A BREAST CANCER PATIENT AND I TOO WAS IN THE STAGE 2.

 

 

THERES HOPE FOR YOUR MUM PLEASE GET A GOOD ONCOLOGIST AND DO ACCORDINGLY AND SHE CAN ALSO GO ON A VERY HEALTHY DIET WITHOUT TOO MUCH MEAT AND LOTS OF FRESH FRUITS AND VEGGIES LIKE BROCOLLIE, BRUSSELS SPROUTS , CAULIFLOWR AND SO ON.

 

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL WHEN YOU ARE SO YOUNG....DO NOT WORRY GIVE LOTS OF LOVE AND SUPPORT SHE WILL BE FINE...

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By crystal— Last Modified: 12/19/10, First Published: 10/28/09