Saddened

PJ Hamel, Health Guide

10/17/07 3:51pm

Cressida, you have to mourn, like you do when you lose anything you love. And surely we need to love ourselves. So let yourself go through the grief process; don't push it away or denigrate it, feel guilty or get into the "should" stuff. It's valid and real. Recognize your grief, feel it, and then try to move on. For me, having a reconstruction was very positive; I still have my shape, if not my original breast. Good luck with your treatment - and keep posting. And thanks for subscribing to my posts! Hope I can help you get through this - PJH

Cressida

10/18/07 4:48pm

Thanks ever so much for the prompt reply.It's made me feel as though I'm now actually part of a group of helpful & caring people & not alone.Yes,I agree that mourning the loss in private will probably help me to get over it gradually.But I think I won't be able to feel good about myself without a breast.I'm considering reconstruction but am not sure whether I can have it done after my 8 sessions of chemotherapy & radiotherapy are over seven months from now.Is it at all possible to delay this surgery till after my treatment?I know that the chemo will knock me out for quite awhile so have no choice but to leave it till later.Does it in any way lead to a recurrence of cancer or perhaps pose a problem if the cancer does return?Forgive me if I sound naive,but this is new territory to me since I was diagnosed in September.And thanks a lot for your support.I'm stll bewildered by what has happened to me & quite apprehensive about the chemotherapy.

PJ Hamel, Health Guide

10/18/07 5:40pm

Gosh, Cressida, I just can't answer your questions about timing of reconstruction; you'd have to ask your doctor. And DO ask! How you feel about your body is important. Don't be put off. There are many types of reconstruction - some might be better after radiation/chemo than others. Every woman has her own personal path to travel; and we're all different. I can tell you to try to stay positive (it truly helps), to look at each day as a new start - no "shoulda, coulda, woulda" about yesterday - and to advocate for yourself. Please make an appointment with your surgeon and/or your oncologist to discuss this, before you're pushed into something you're uncomfortable with. As for chemo - millions of us have gotten through it. You can, too. You're stronger than you think, I promise!! - PJH

Cressida

10/18/07 5:57pm

Thanks a million. I already feel stronger. Big Smile

Phyllis Johnson, Health Guide

10/18/07 7:16am

Cressida, each woman has her own method for dealing with losing a breast. You might want to ask about why you need a mastectomy and maybe even get a second opinion. Today many women are candidates for lumpectomy and radiation. I found that understanding I had to lose my breast to save my life put the matter in perspective. I wrote a poem the night before my surgery, and I've heard other people talk about saying "goodbye" to their breasts as part of their mourning. As PJ pointed out, it's important to acknowledge your own feelings and not try to follow a script of how you should react.

Cressida

10/18/07 4:59pm

Phyllis,I think I ought to have gone to the cancer hospital right from the start instead of going to a surgeon.The surgeon's immediate response to my lumpectomy result being positive was to decide on a mastectomy.My sisters were awfully worried & said it was always risky to keep a breast under the circumstances.After a mastectomy I went to another city which has a cancer hospital of international standards.I think they might have encouraged me to keep the breast.But I've heard that the cancer recurs after awhile if the breast isn't removed.I wonder!

Phyllis Johnson, Health Guide

10/19/07 7:24am

Be sure to ask your doctor about this, but I think that most of the time patients who need chemo are not considered candidates for lumpectomy with radiation instead of mastectomy. The important thing now is to move forward. In my situation, I wasn't a candidate for immediate reconstruction, and two years later when my oncologist was willing to agree to it, I was comfortable with my "new normal" and decided not to have it. I still have moments of mourning, but I'm in a totally different place emotionally about it all compared to while I was in treatment. Try to focus on what you have to do today to get well. Read as much as you can absorb and ask lots of questions.

Cressida

10/19/07 1:28pm

I think I made the right decision to have a mastectomy because the cancer has reached my axillary nodes.I hope they'll let me off after my three weekly 8 chemo sessions & put me on pills.I hope they decide to that radiotherapy isn't necessary.

Time is a great healer and,perhaps,I won't be feeling so upset over the loss of my breast six months hence.If reconstruction leads to further complications,I'd rather do without it.I'll ask my sister to get me a 'form' from UK,or maybe I can find it at the hospital I'm going to for treatment.I think the 'form'seems a better option than the prosthesis bra.What's worrying me more at present is the possibility of feeling awfully unwell during chemo. Sad

Maria Gifford, Editor

10/18/07 5:54pm

Hello, Cressida. Welcome to our community.

Here's some helpful information for you:

Breast Reconstruction

http://www.healthcentral.com/breast-cancer/reconstruction.html

This collection of articles is packed with advice and tips. Read patient stories about breast reconstruction. Learn about the types of reconstruction and what to expect before, during and after surgery. Also, check out our Breast Cancer Comics focusing on breast reconstruction.

Keep us posted on your progress and feel free to write again anytime. We're glad to help.

Best,

Maria

Cressida

10/18/07 6:07pm

Hello Maria.I've received such a wonderful response and learnt so much in such a short time through the shareposts.I think you are all wonderful people and I do sincerely hope that I can be as brave as everybody here is and can help others the way you are doing.

Ask a Question