A Positive Attitude Helps!

Dear Phyllis:

Thank you so much for your post!  I'm feeling better every day, thank goodness.  I've just finished my 7th radiation and I've not yet experienced any skin irritation or any increased fatigue.  I'm feeling - finally - like I might just conquer this and feel like my old self again, but better.  With a renewed perspective of what is and what isn't important. 

Thanks to you, I've made an appointment at Macy's to get a lesson in eyebrows.  I always had great, Brooke Shields type eyebrows, so never needed to fill them in, etc., just kept them trimmed, waxed and clean.  One of my best gfriends is going with me, so this should be fun. 

Thank you, Phyllis!

Kaye

Dear Lisa:

Thank you for your uplifting response.  Like you, I just want to blend into the crowd too.  I do have a wig, but felt to embarrassed to wear that either!  I don't know why.  Now that I'm done with chemo and physicially feel better, I've begun wearing it and I get so many compliments that I'll probably wear my hair like that when it grows back!  Thank you for your great compliments too.  I would try very hard to remain positive, and sometimes that is difficult.  I still have meltdowns and I just allow myself to experience the meltdown.  Even though it might feel like the end of the world, I've learned that it isn't and with cancer, I think we are all entitled to meltdowns, even our caregivers, family, friends, etc. 

Thank you, Lisa!

Kaye

Dear Natalia:

Thank you for yor post.  You and I seem to have received some of the same treatment.  I think, after reflection, that the lack of communication might be based on their fear of saying the wrong thing, or not knowing what to say.  Or, as in my "friend's" case, smoking 4 packs of cigarettes a day and then fearing he might be next!  I am a non-smoker and not a smoking nazi, but I think he just was faced with his own mortality or the likelihood of a serious life changing illness.  I've learn to let a lot of pain stuff go; hurt feelings, etc., and focus more on me.  I believe as women, we forget to focus on us.  This has been a huge wake-up call for me to pay attention to me more.  If we let ourselves learn from even the most horrible experiences, they can be somewhat good experiences then.  I hope that isn't a confusing concept. 

We are going to be even better people after having gone through this, if we allow ourselves to learn and grow as a result. 

With love and power!

Kaye

Dear PJ:

Thank you for the compliements regarding my head!  Now watch, I'll complain when my very thick coarse hair comes back and my head is hot this summer!  

While it has been nice to not have to fuss with hair, buy hair products, I've miss my hair.  Let's face it, society is not geared toward bald women and it had a huge impact on my self confidence.  Plus, just the fact that I felt soooooo sick with chemo.  People would stare and I found myself getting very, very crabby and ill-tempered.  Now, that I'm on radiation, getting some strength back and not feeling ill or in pain constantly, I'm handling the stares much better.  One of my girlfriends bought me a tshirt that says, "I'm kicking cancer's ***.  You want to be next?"  I love that shirt and now that I'm done with lumpectomy, chemo and into radiation and can see the light at the end of the tunnel, I actually feel that way!  I want to give time back though to people going through what I went through.  I've actually been counseling friends of friends...it seems people turn to you when they hear those awful words, "you have cancer."   It fulfils me to give back because I remember how very alone I felt and the vulnerabilty was horrific.  My life was hijacked and I've learned that my particular diagnosis and treatment has been a blessing compared to what most people have to go through. 

It's also beneficial to keep sharing and I journal every night before I go to bed.  Writing down my thoughts, feelings and reactions has been a great therapy for me.  Plus, sharing things on this website with friends I didn't know I had - from all over the country!!!

My hair growing back is the next cancer adventure to look forward to.  I figured gray hair is why God created stylists and colorists!!!