Hi, I'm Kaye and at the age of 48 and after having my yearly mammorgram last year, on July 3, I was diagnosed with Stage 2B breast cancer. The Fourth of July will never be the same holiday it once was for me. I went on a friend's sailboat to watch the fireworks over Lake Michigan and couldn't stop thinking how cheated I felt! I never smoked, got my mammograms, and now this! I didn't want to be sick from surgery, chemo and radiation. I didn't want to give up my breast. I didn't want my hair to fall out and then I realized, over time and once the initial hysteria wore off, that I needed to get busy living! I still wanted to laugh and go to Cubs games with my sons!
Surgery was difficult and I remembered waking up and grabbing for my right breast. We weren't sure I could keep it because the tumor was very close to my nipple. Okay, breast is still there, so I concentrated on breathing. Very weak from surgery and very uncomfortable from the drain I began 5 weeks at home from work. Sleeping took effort, walking took effort, everything took effort. I struggled with the fact that I was only one third of the way into treatment! I became resentful, crabby, very, very emotional. Some friends turned their backs on me. Said my having breast cancer was "too much drama." WOW, was that a wake up call and man-oh-man, did that hurt! So? I quit talking about my cancer since I didn't want to scare off any more friends. I found myself drifting deeper and deeper into depression. A couple of my gal pals handled my having cancer with great compassion and support - they were and continue to be a great support.
Chemo was horrible. Unfortunately I didn't get much relief from the drugs for the side effects. Just like most of us, I had 4 A/C treatments and 4 taxol treatments. I had to stop Neulasta during Taxol because the bone pain was more than I could take. I've had a couple of weeks off after my last chemo on Dec 27, and now I've had my 4th radiation treatment.
What are others' experiences with radiation? I'm still fatigued from chemo, so I've not noticed increased fatigue...yet. I'm figuring that Gilda's Club would be a great outlet for just talking and sharing. Losing my hair was very difficult as that is the "mark of the beast" that you are sick. I kept my eyebrows until the 2nd Taxol, then they lost their battle to stay in, along with my eyelashes. It just looks a bit creepy to not have eyebrows or eyelashes.
Now I have peach fuzz type hair and some of my natural brown head hair growing back too. I noticed that the hair on my legs has begun to grow back slowly too. I will be glad to have my head hair back. Then I don't have to put up with people staring at me.
