That doesn't mean I'm not scared about the surgery but it's more fear of the unknown of how things will feel afterward, but from the other women that have told me their stories it doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun. Not a totally unbearable situation, but not fun either. I've been told things are more uncomfortable than painful, but still everyone has a different reaction to things.
My surgery should take place within the next couple of weeks. I do not have a date yet, but have been told that the doctors are talking with each other and coordinating it soon. On a happier note I am eating well and since I have finished with the chemo my tastes are coming back to normal. Things are beginning to taste like they are supposed to again.
Ice cream is good again. I am still a little sensitive to spicy things so I can't do full Mexican food yet, but I'll get there. My energy level is up as well, even though my body gets tired still after a whole lot of activity. So I'm back to cooking again which feels real good and I can drive myself around and make trips to the store by myself without needing someone else to drive me or shop for me. Things are moving towards a new normal.
It will feel nice once I get there, but for now it's at least a light at the end of the tunnel. I've been hearing that 5 years after diagnosis is the date to go by for breast cancer where they say you're in remission, so April of 2010 I will be celebrating. There just will have to be no reoccurrence between now and then.
I pray that none of you will have to experience anything like this in your lifetime. Although it's been a difficult thing for me to go through I have learned many lessons. The biggest one though is that you cannot allow your life to get so busy that you don't take care of yourself. Yes it is important to take care of your family, parents, children, but you can't take care of them if you are not healthy yourself. I've been keeping a sort of unorganized journal throughout this entire experience. It has been good for me to be able to write out my thoughts, especially the ones that are hard to talk about. Who knows, maybe all these thoughts will turn into a book after everything is said and done. Wouldn't that be cool?
I will email again when I know the date of my surgery. I hope all of you are doing well. Thank you to all of you for the unwavering support you have provided me throughout all of this. There have been times that it has seemed like I could feel all the prayers and thoughts coming my way and you can't imagine the feeling of peace that has given me. I couldn't have made it through all this without you all. Thank you.
Take care,
Love,
Keri
