About Courage: The Edwards' Decision

I agree with you regarding family, friends calling cancer survivors brave.  It took me a while to understand why I was annoyed when people told me I was brave.  What else could I do?  I either follow the treatment regime or die.  Also, what does being brave require of me?  Does this mean I have to hide my feelings all the time, not cry or have an occasional meltdown?  Adding guilt on top of all the other emotions when battling a cancer diagnosis just adds more stress.

    Judy, yes, people often encourage us to be brave so they don't have to deal with our emotional truth. Appearing normal is often required of us to take care of those around us who are uncomfortable with our reality.

But pretending that we're just fine isn't intimate—to me, intimacy happens when two people are real with each other. "Bravery" often requires us to numb off part of ourselves. Sometimes that's good, when we don't want to be vulnerable, but we also need someone in our lives who finds our reality perfectly acceptable, even when it's painful. That's called love.