Maybe I’ll Try A Support Group After All

Thanks, PJ! You nailed it for me in your current post, “Breast Cancer Support Group? Not for me!” I confess that I have never seriously attempted to find a breast cancer support group.

Like you, I have friends who are breast cancer survivors, but being over sixty, I don’t feel too special: Lots of us are dealing with a life-threatening illness, from hepatitis C to cancer, diabetes, or heart disease. We don't talk about it much.  (Some of my friends have no time for what they call "organ recitals.") When I was diagnosed, I just moved across the line from the mostly healthy half of the people I know to the half who deal regularly with the scary, pricey world of hospitals, labs, and health professionals.

Come to think of it, I doubt that I’ve even mentioned support groups in the 2 ½ years I’ve been a breast cancer blogger. I’m wondering why, and I’ve come up with three reasons:

First, my prejudice against support groups is influenced by a very close friend who went through treatment twenty years ago (and who is still very much with us). Her occasional chemo ride was my first encounter with breast cancer. It felt frightening. Once, when she phoned me in terrible pain, feeling helpless I asked if she might not find a support group. “Oh I went to one for a while,” she told me. “But it was too depressing. Two members died and I just couldn’t handle it. I have enough loss in my life already.” I think I have shared that fear.

Furthermore, I already have a sort of support group—a huge, international internet community. Thanks to my personal blog and my role on HealthCentral.com as a breast cancer contributor, I’m in constant touch with other survivors and with people interested in my artistic and medical experiences.

But I think the real reason is this: I don’t know how to find one. I have never actually heard of a breast cancer support group in my town. Soon after my diagnosis I tried a Google search with no luck. (Today I tried again and again, nothing.) I did locate Gilda’s Club, an international organization started in honor of the irrepressible comedian Gilda Radner, who died of cancer (I’m not sure which kind) in 1989. “Clubs” around the world offer free, highly recommended support to cancer survivors and their families, but the nearest one to me was a two hour drive.

So I gave up. I’m now involved in two local women’s groups and some of our members are breast cancer survivors, but of course, we don’t talk about it there. The truth is, no one really understands that part of my life except someone who lives with it herself.

So I’m getting interested.  I’m betting a lot of us are wondering how to find a support group, so I’m off to the library to find out.