Hello from Indianapolis. My wife and I only met this last February but its been the happiest days of our lives. She a brest cancer survivor 2005 Stage I but proceeded to have a double radical masectomy and chemo. The chemo triggered a ruptured appendix. Reconstruction went beyond her expectations.

I to am a cancer surviror. I had found a cancerous polyp and then colonectomy in 2004 - since then clear. Dec. 20, 2007 our plans for life looking at retirement took pause to jump on the emotional roller coaster called Stage IV Mets. At her 2.5 year oncology visit she shared w her Dr that she had been experiencing a sharp pain just to the right of her backbone - mid back. He ordered a precautionary MRI. She talked w the rad tech about her brest cancer and offered her some information to share with this young gals mom who had BC and seeking a reconstruction. At the end of the session (last of the day) she asked to see the scan. A whitish grey spot lit up the screen. We are not radiologists but we both knew something was not right. The next day the radioligist confirmed the spector as probably being cancerous. Affecting the 7 and 8 vertebrae and the soft tissue next to the spinal cord and outside.

The next day, a full CAT scan- thank goodness nothing else. Hitting the Christmas Holiday, a pre scheduled trip for her to see her mom, Dr is off on vacation, provided only minimal time to strap on the seat belts as it were. She is back has finally spoken with the Dr. we now are looking at a bone scan first thing Jan 2 then biopsy, then the start of radiation and then possibly another chemo maybe?

Like so many if not all husbands, I have been with quivering lower lip, hesatancy in speech to come up with the words to share what has befallen our world with my children, my ex wife (we are still good friends) extended family, friends and colleagues both close and far. As word has spread its with great appreciation that we are hearing people offering up prayer. One friend, who is spiritually wicken, immediately summoned her coven to lend a positive spell. Hey, if it can help - we will take it!

Oh the nights - sleepless churning. Sitting at work - just in a numb stupor. I can say more than once I have just yelled and screamed - or just broken down and sobbed. Doing chores, driving those alone times The realizaton that cancer has again invaded my life with those whom I love - my mom died of mets 4.5 years after colon cancer, my grandmother mets, brain, my grandfather mets throat, my aunts, mets post lung cancer. Now again.

I lost my family members by the time I was 23. My mom just before my soph year in HS and my dad in middle of my sr year of HS. I am an only child. This time, I am the lead caregiver, a whole different seat To say I am scared does not quite capture it.

Despite the past, the here is the now and I am not unique - I suspect each husband has a unique story what and how but we are now the husband brothers sailing on the same boat as they say.

I suspect the bottom line is the same for lots of men in this forum we all want to monitor, share, and learn. I do know that I will assist, support, love and cherish every day as a gift with my new wife as we take this ride. Did I say we hate roller coasters? But I will hang on for the whole ride.