Dan, I'm so, so sorry for you; your wife is out of her pain, but those she left behind are suffering. Cancer is truly evil; it robs us of so much, and you've experienced the biggest loss of all. I hope you have family and friends there to be with you. Lean on them; it's OK. Whatever you feel - anger, grief, pain - FEEL it. Don't try to push it away. You have to get through this one step at a time; there's no getting around it. Time will heal, but in the meantime - it's just so hard. Eventually a scar will form over this wound, and make it bearable. And you'll always, always carry her with you, in your heart. My best to you, Dan - please take a look at the husbands and partners page on this site, if you haven't already. Maybe you can find some helpful connections there. PJH