Doesnt it suck???

Hi my name is Michelle and I am 34yrs old. About 3 months ago my mother got diagnosed with breast cancer(infiltrating ductal carcinoma) and my grandmother also died from breast cancer(not sure what type) 30yrs ago. I figured that due to faimly history I should get checked out. Low and behold after a mammogram, ultrasound and a core biopsy, I found out I have cancer, the same type. I was told that my cancer was 1cm and considering my mothers was 2.5cm and she had a lumpectomy I thought that was what I would have. On my first appointment I ws told I should consider a bilateral mastectomy. I was floored and as I am supposed to be getting married in around 6 wks my answer was NO. After a bit of consideration I realised that I would not be able to live with the fear of wondering if it would come back and decided to have the lumpectomy now and the mastecomy immediately after we come back from our honeymoon and have tissue expanders put in. After my surgery last Monday(4 days ago) I am now left waiting until next Wed to find out if it is in my lymph nodes. I am starting to feel a little sick in the stomach and now everytime I feel something like that I am scarec that the cancer has spread and I am going to die. I have a 7 yr old daughter who is the light of my life and along with my soon to be husband I am not prepared to leave any of them yet. I hope this is just my mind running away with me and next wed will bring the first lot of good news since this started (when they went into get the lump they found way more cells and are already convinced they didnt get clear margins. (that I can handle, if it is in my lymph nodes different story). Anyway I am sure that we all have a sad story to tell and I wish for all of us and whoever else is sick to be in Gods graces.