How can I be everything to everyone and still support my sister?

Hello, Gigi. Welcome to our community.

You're not alone in how you feel pulled and stressed from all directions, especially when it comes to being the primary caregiver for your sister. It's a true test, but it sounds like you're doing great in balancing it all as best you can, even though it feels far from it most days. Everyone in your life is very blessed to have you.

Although your situation is a bit different, I'd like to refer you to a group of special caregivers here on our site:

Breast Cancer Husbands and Partners

http://www.healthcentral.com/breast-cancer/breast-cancer-husbands.html

And this article in particular:

Partner/Husband Check-In: Cancer Touches Us All

http://www.healthcentral.com/breast-cancer/c/78/10367/cancer-touches/

I'm thinking you can relate to a lot of what these folks have experienced and shared with us, just as you have.

Keep us posted on how your sister - and YOU - are doing. Write again soon - you're right, it often does make you feel a little better!

Hang in there.

Best,

Maria 

 I belong to a support group for caregivers  of  those who have cancer.  It is great to be in a group of people who understand the unique stresses on the cancer caregiver.

 My support group is at The Wellness Community. 

http://www.thewellnesscommunity.org/

Mary 

Hi GiGi..yes I can understand the way you feel. My husband had been diagnosed in 2000 with stage IV squamous cell cancer of the tongue., which spread to the lymph nodes in his neck. I had the job of taking him to all of his radiation appointments and doctor appointments as well as all the household tasks. I managed his meds, getting up at all hours to make sure he had teh pain meds etc.. and I followed up on  medical billing that was done wrong...I also have 2 elderly parents to care for and I had a diabetic cat, who had other problems.My cat was like a child to me.. I, also have some health issues myself that have left me disabled. Yes I know the feeling. My thoughts are to take care of yourself..otherwise noone gets any help..you will be down for the count in a matter of speaking. I suggest you call your sister and reassure her that you love her dearly, but you also have so many other factors..and you want to be there for her but you need to take care of yourself as well as others.

I was told by some of my husband's friends that if I needed anything to call..I did call..noone could help . All I needed was someone to take him for a treatment once a week...or sit with him so I could go out to do errands...the ones who said they would help did not...my neighbor helped.she did not ask, she just helped...in removing snow for us..so it would be easier to deal with...

Now, my husband , (he was my boyfriend by the way during all the 35 radiation treatments and the 3 rotations of dual chemo drugs..and surgery to remove the cancer) tells me I was mean to him..and did terrible things...I gave all  I could give but it was not enough..I do not even know  really why he wanted to get married since all his problems now are my fault according to him. I felt horrible when he told me some things of how he felt about me...I can tell you now that I do not hate him..I do not understand him though.... I know I did all I could and God knows I did all I could...so it is really not to important what he says....likewise, you know you do the best you can...and if you believe in God which it sounds like you do..then He also knows...so be good to yourself..... I am still taking care of elderly parents...they have more problems now....but I also know I am doing the best I can.so if you can look yourself in the mirror and say I did my best or as best as I can considering the circumstances..then you will have done the right thing. I know you are thankful for what you have...likewise I am as well...but know that sharing your feelings will help a lot..it gets it out of your system for a while...so hang in there...Myrtle

PS My husband is alive by the way..he has survived now 7 years when the prognosis was not good at all..