I got my results back this past week--got a score of 11 on the Oncotype DX test...well within the low risk category. That means chemo has not been shown in research to provide significant benefit to hormonal therapy alone. I had the option of participating in the TAILORx study, but decided I wanted to forego the chemo and once I decided that, I didn't want to give up the control of that choice.
Of course, here I am 3 days after starting on tamoxifen and wouldn't you know...I am having doubts and anxiety about NOT having chemo! There is no end to this, is there? If it isn't one thing, it's another. I think because I spent the last 3 months (since diagnosis) preparing myself for the possibility of chemo, the idea now of not having chemo feels uncomfortable...even worrisome. I wonder at what point you take the doubts and second-guessing as an indication that perhaps you should reconsider your decision? My husband and most of my friends seem very confident that I made the "right" choice...although I have no doubt they would have been supportive of me regardless of my choice. I only wish I had that same level of confidence. I suppose, like everything else those of us living with it have been through, it just isn't the same if you haven't actually been through it.
Here's a question, then...is there a group of women out there who have made this same decision as I have? Obviously there must be...do you have your own support network? I find myself hesitant to share my decision with those I know who have been (or are going) through chemo...like it somehow isn't fair to them, or is insensitive to mention it given their own experience. I'm sure I'm being ridiculous...I have never had anything but support from anyone who is or has gone through this journey. Guess I'm just sort of grappling with a high level of emotions right now. Tomorrow is a new day...
Jolene
