Internet Resources for Breast Cancer Husbands and Partners

A diagnosis of breast cancer can knock the wind out of a woman and her significant other. I still remember what it felt like when I learned that my wife had breast cancer. I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that she might die.  I did not want to be left alone.  I wanted my wife of twenty-five years to be by my side and grow old.  It all seemed so unfair.

For your wife or girlfriend, feelings of shock, fear or grief may be coupled with the sense of being startlingly alone. Combating this sense of loneliness is just one of the ways breast cancer caregivers can support a patient.

Whether you offer emotional support, assist in managing appointments and treatment logistics, or pitch in with the chores, your role as a breast cancer partner or caregiver can be critical to a woman's survival. 

While breast cancer caregivers range in age, gender and relationship to the breast cancer patient -- perhaps the mother, adult daughter or friend is the primary source of support --  this SharePost focuses on men who support women through their breast cancer experience. In particular, it looks at resources and support on the Web.

The male caregiver has a plethora of information available to help him succeed in caring for his loved one. There are literally hundreds of Web sites devoted to breast cancer, and many of them have message boards or sections that discuss the role of the breast cancer husband or caregiver. While none of these sites yet have the presence, completeness, or resources of the likes of giants Susan G. Komen for the Cure or breastcancer.org, a few sites are notable.  

Men Against Breast Cancer

www.menagainstbreastcancer.org

MABC is a non-profit organization that aims to educate men so that they can be effective caregivers. Their Web site, which is supported by two pharmaceutical giants, Novartis and Astra Zeneca, is still under development in several sections. Nevertheless, it offers valuable support, resources, and brochures. I found the “Guy’s Guide to Mammography to be a very good brochure. The "Find a Friend" tool aims to help you find breast cancer husbands or boyfriends who are like you. When I last checked, there were fewer than 20 men participating in the index. To access the full listing, choose "Doesn't Matter" in the pull-down tabs for "State," "Marital Status," and "Kids?"

In 2003, Men Against Breast Cancer was awarded the first ever CDC grant to enlist men in the fight against breast cancer, focusing on the underserved African American, Latino and Native American communities. The $1.1 million grant is “the first to recognize the positive benefits of educating men on how to provide critical day-to-day emotional, mental and physical support and care to their wives, mothers, partners, daughters and other loved ones stricken with breast cancer.” 

Every year the organization conducts a training conference in Baltimore, MD on how to become a better male caregiver.  Attendance is limited to the first 65 applicants.  I attended last year and found the training staff to be very professional.  It is a valuable experience for any male caregiver.  For two days, Partners In Survival workshops focused on how breast cancer impacts individuals as well as the family unit. The workshops included practical tips to help manage the many elements of the breast cancer crisis, including, doctor's visits, household responsibilities, children, intimacy, communications, and more. Specific emphasis was placed on men understanding the physical and emotional needs of their female partners.