Just finished a five day trip where I work morning to night, one of a two-person team that runs a meeting for work.
I sleep light. So, in a hotel there are too many other people snoring, walking and generally existing too close to my personal sleeping zone, which is normally about a block and a half. My usual day at these functions is about 5:00 am to midnight. Flat out working the whole time. I only have to do it twice a year so it's not bad and I absolutely love the people, love the people, love the people. I got more hugs than a dachshund gets belly rubs. I even got a few head rubs!
Usually we just have two full time and we bring in an extra for the crunch mornings. This year, because we really didn't know how strong I would be by now, we brought in two extra helpers for the two busiest days.
Here's the bragging --- not only did I keep up with everyone else, I was there three days longer and felt less wasted than the two helpers looked. I actually feel good. Life, my job, my abilities are all finding their balance and it is wonderful. Sure, I'm tired. Five days in super-high gear is supposed to make a body tired. It's NORMAL.
It felt good to have this goal accomplished with grace and strength and success. I didn't even realize I was holding it out as goal-marker until it was nearly over and I had done everything and more that I've done in years past. So, this benchmark is behind me and I'm proud of the job I did.
Then, this morning, I realized, this five-day meeting was nothing, nada, zilch, compared to what I did all frickin' winter. Lumpectomy, waiting for results, mastectomy, doctor's visitings, drain tubes, fighting snow storms and traffic jams to get to chemo. Leaving the warmth of home and office to go get my blood drawn every week, sometimes twice a week. Sacrificing hair, enduring fatigue and anemia, all while dose dense medicinal toxins traveled through my system.
In retrospect I should have celebrated each step of the fight with the same pride and feeling of self-accomplishment as I did this meeting.
So, this is for those still in the throws of your fight. Be proud of what you are doing now. This battle we've chosen (and it is a choice to fight cancer) is not an easy one. Be proud of every step as you would if you climbed a mountain. I know I'm looking at it in a whole new light. I realized that instead of waiting until I had accomplished something MAJOR in my mind, to start bragging, I should have been bragging all along.
So, my advice is to be proud, brag and take care.
