Hello all and I sincerely hope you are doing as well as can be...

I keep coming back to it ain't the big things that "get" to me with this disease and its side effects, it's the little ones.

We held our fall Board of Directors meeting earlier this week.  Keep in mind the group is marvelous, wonderful and extraordinarily caring.  The first thing is a hug, then how are you?  But the fact remains that of the 27 people at the evening reception, only one other was a woman.  So, think 25 men in a somewhat smallish area.

And in the middle of it, chemo-induced menopause strikes - HARD.  It was rainy and the place had a fire going and the heat cranked up.  It was warm.  It was cozy.  It was perfect for a rainy fall evening.  I wanted to go crawl into their ice-bin.

I glance over and one of the larger men is wiping his forehead and I came THAT CLOSE to swiping his napkin and shoving it down my shirt!

The prosthetic looks great - natural.  People who don't know can't tell.  But geez louise is it hot!  And of course, with the hot flash, I started sweating.  Yeah, yeah, ladies perspire - says the person who has never been through menopause in a packed house with the fireplace going.

I'm thinking to myself, this top is good old-fashioned professional beige and it's going to start staining like crazy.   On the up side it is somewhat loosely cut, so maybe the train of sweat leaking out from under my bra and down into my navel won't be THAT obvious.

I hit the waitress for so much iced tea she finally quit asking if I wanted anything to drink and just brought it every time she came by.

So, the evening progressed and the hot flash subsided and I sneak into the ladies room where I wet a towel, race into a stall and stuff it in my bra.  I've already admited that over the summer I put my prosthetic in the fridge to cool it off.  Do you think the restaurant would've minded if I slipped my boob into their walk-in for a few minutes? 

Seriously though, my physician and I have tried a couple of things to help with hot flashes and sweats and insomnia.  I've visited the menopause page here as well as several other sites.  I'm not giving up yet on finding a reasonable solution.  But the thought of Antartica for the next couple years has crossed my mind.  And if I'm honest, it has probably crossed my husband's mind as well.  "You want a vacation in Siberia?  Sure, honey, here's a plane ticket."

But while menopause is not that fun, being here to receive all the hugs and do a good job and watch my son trick-or-treat. listen to my daughter gripe about school, kiss my husband, and talk to my family most definitely is.  And since I was given the choice - I choose -- the sweaty bra.

Take care everyone,

Be well.