I'm the kind of person who is extremely self-reliant and independent, plus I'm blessed with a truly remarkable memory.  But when I met with my surgeon to discuss options soon after my Stage III breast cancer was diagnosed, I was waaay too overwhelmed with information to keep any of it straight in my head.  I learned the hard way that it's critical to have another pair of eyes and ears to attend these appointments with me, because I essentially forgot almost everything the surgeon said to me that day.

Both the patient and the companion should be taking notes and asking questions.  My parents never asked a doctor any questions, they simply assumed that their doctors would carefully craft their advice or directions in a complete way, and that bringing up concerns was an inappropriate waste of their busy doctor-god's time.

Thank goodness those times have changed.  And while this breast cancer diagnosis may be new to each and every one of us, our doctors have been dealing with breast cancer patients all day, every day.  Certain assumptions may be made by a physician about a patient's level of understanding and access to information.  One of my doctors remarked to me that she wasn't exactly sure how much to tell, that she didn't want to insult anyone's intelligence by giving too much detail.

So here's my advice: Prepare for the appointment with any and every question you may have.  (The only dumb questions are the ones you don't ask.)  Write them down on a piece of paper and take that paper and a pen out before you see the doctor.  As the visit proceeds, take notes on everything, and be sure your companion is doing the same.  Review your list to ensure that nothing is forgotten, and check in with your companion before the visit ends to see if she or he has anything to add or ask.

If your physician has requested that you make a decision, have a follow-up visit or do some research on your own, be sure that the directions are clear.  I know that doctors much prefer to treat an informed patient, so be informed.  And keep your notes at home so you can review them again when the information is no longer fresh.