The day after bilateral mastectomy...

Hi Susan,

At the end of July it will be 1 year since the mammogram that found the stage 1 IDC in my right breast.  It's been quite a year.  Things I never thought I'd have to know or do are for the most part, behind me.  I can truly say that for me, the anticipation was probably worse than the actual journey.  Recovery from the mastectomy was the worst part.  All those nerves that get cut want to protest so it feels pretty scratchy - more so toward evening.  Take your pain pills on schedule so the pain doesn't get ahead of you.  You won't get addicted as long as you need the medication so don't try to tough it out if you don't need to.  Be aware that pain pills are really constipating so be sure to get as much fiber and liquid in your diet as possible.  I knew I didn't want to go through this a second time either.  My family history is pretty scary so I knew a recurrence was highly probable.  I had a biopsy in the left breast for suspicious cells a few years earlier which showed signs of precancerous activity.  I was so fortunate the cancer was found early before it got to the lymph nodes.  It was small but very aggressive so I opted for chemotherapy.  They gave me so many options it made my head swim!  I finally asked my oncologist who was a survivor, what she would do if she was in my situation.  I think I already knew the answer, but it helped that she confirmed my gut instinct.  I had CFM which was longer (6mo. of weekly treatments) but easier on my system.  It didn't make me sick... just tired.  I didn't lose all my hair but enough that it looked pathetic so I wore hats and finally a wig too.  My hair is growing back... getting thicker but still only about an inch long.  I had my first haircut today!  It was sticking up and looking silly so I had the back tapered to my head and the rest evened out.  It had an undergrowth like fur!  My stamina is returning - I'm feeling fine and life is good.  Next year at this time I know you will be fine too.  Your kids are the best reasons in the world to get you through the journey.  I'll send up a prayer for you August 5th.

Hi,

Thanks for the reply.  I think I'm just angry sometimes.  I went for a mammo in Dec. and got the all clear from the Diagnostic Center in January only to find an enlarged lymphnode (which turned out to be several) in early February.  They totally missed it and you can clearly see the cancer and nodes in the mammo (I have them).  Stage 3.  I've already had chemo but after 8 treatments (ACT) the mass is still there (they say they don't know if its diseased tissue, scar tissue or dead tissue).  They recommended a single mastectomy but I opted for both.  Like you, I don't want to do this again.  Thank you for your prayers and info.  It is the recommendations you pointed out that are the most valuable.  You can't find that info anywhere.  I refuse to give up and I'm apprehensive but ready to get rid of this nightmare and put it behind me.  Thanks again!

Good grief... I think I'd be mad too!  Unfortunately, what's done is done so try to use your anger toward beating this stupid rotten cancer.  "I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking this lying down!"  I had days I didn't feel like fighting.  It was a huge boost when I decided to let my friends and relatives know what I was going through.  I think a lot of women try to fight it alone, but this is not the time to be the strong silent type.  When I emailed my progress reports out, I always got prayers and words of encouragement that carried me through the times when my faith was low.  There was so much more support out there than I imagined.  People I hadn't heard from in years came out of the woodwork to give me positive energy.  People on this website also helped.  They've been where you are and they understand what goes through your head.  Your kids are your number one fan club.  Love is a powerful drug.

Take care Susan.  Life is more precious when you've faced cancer.  It will get better each day. - Melanie

Thanks Melanie, you are amazing.  I don't plan to give up anytime soon.  This disease has no idea who it is dealing with.

All the best,

Susan

Hi. I'm getting the bilateral mastectomy next Tuesday (July 21). Had lumpectomy on June 18th, but radiologist found a second area on the mammogram, it was biopsied at the time, and was positive. (I consider a "positive" pathology report NEGATIVE!!!) So getting them both off next week. Hey, I can handle it. I had a root canal yesterday! LOL! I'm an old lady (69), but I'm tough (at least as far as anyone else knows). My husband passed away last November, and I was diagnosed in May. Really mad, but know I have to do what I have to do. I'll be tested for the gene (which I'm sure I have, since mother had the breast thing), then have the prophylactic hysterectomy to forego the ovarian thing. They're taking away all my femininity one surgery at a time, but I don't have a man in my life anymore anyway, so who needs it? Yeah, right.

WHOA, what a time you've had! Sounds like you still have a sense of humor - I admire you. Keep fighting. Keep walking forward; no retreat. You'll get through this - stay in touch here. We can help - PJH

Thank you for your thoughts.  Yes, my kids keep me positive and I plan to get through this with a positive outlook for the future.  Albeit a little scary, I can't wait till its over.  I have too much to live for so I plan to be here for a long time.  Thanks again!

Thanks much, PJ, and all of you. Yes, I have a sense of humor. (But it sorta hides my fears, anger, and grief sometimes.) I'm still grieving my husband, and now I get to grieve the loss of my female parts. Good grief! I'm serious....grief can be good. I had a UTI 3 months after my husband died, 2 months prior to the cancer diagnosis. Went to the primary care doctor, who immediately wanted to prescribe antidepressants. I told him there was such a thing as normal human mourning on the loss of a life partner, and I wanted to travel that journey without additional chemicals. He got snippy, said, "well, it is your choice, but . . ."   and I said, "Yes, it's my choice." And when I left that office, I knew I'd have a new doctor soon! I went to my diabetes doctor for my usual 6-month checkup 2 weeks later, told him I needed a new doc. He asked if I had any medical concerns that needed immediate attention. For some reason, I said that it had been a long time since I'd had a mammogram. (This comment was divinely inspired, I'm convinced.) He ordered the mammo and the rest is history. Well, it will be history after Tuesday, when the boobs get cut off! But I can and will handle what I have to do. Did pre-op check-in today, and sorta told my sad tale. The little nurse said, "Hang in there!" I said, "After Tuesday, I won't be hanging at all!!!" You youngsters don't know what I'm talking about! LOL!

Wow, that's a lot to handle but I realize we women are pretty tough.  You can take all of that stuff away from us surgical and we are still women, better than ever.  I plan to use this experience as a kick to remind me how precious life is and how much better life can be post cancer.  Looking forward to getting there and wishing you all the best in your journey.  You can do it!  You'll be in my thoughts!

Whoa!  You have been dealt a pretty nasty hand.  Way too many losses in such a short time.  I hope there are people you know and love close by who can fill the role of cheerleaders.  Just know that the women here are all rooting for you.  I have a friend, Pat, who was diagnosed with BC.  In the middle of her treatments her husband was diagnosed with cancer as well and he passed away very shortly thereafter.  Her faith and her friends carried her through the darkest days.  Pat is healthy and happy again... life does get better.  It's okay to cry and get mad and feel rotten because the things happening to you aren't fair... but just know it will get better.  Every day is a gift.

Melanie, Susan, "Texas" - You are all amazing. WE are all amazing!!! We're survivors, and we ROCK ON. (And yes, I do know how they hang... and hang, and hang...) PJH