Tomorrow is my last chemo... PTL!

By Melanie Friday, March 20, 2009

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Circled in hot pink on the calendar... Friday, March 20, 2009. It's the day I have been looking forward to for 6 loooong months... the last of 24 chemo treatments. WooHoo! It really hasn't been as bad as I had anticipated. Not that I ever want to do it again! In fact, most of the time I felt just fine. Occasionally my stomach did flip flops so I popped a Pepcid. It did not stop me from wanting to eat... darn it. I've been pretty tired the last couple of months, but it was a good excuse to get out of vacuuming and doing laundry. Miraculously it didn't make me too tired to go out for lunch or shopping. I finally lost enough hair that the glare off my scalp was blinding people, so I resorted to a black bucket on my head. It's hot... and I don't mean the fashion statement. I'm getting pretty adept at tying scarves behind my head as I fly out the door to work. Fake hair was just too scary looking. The dogs thought I was a stranger and wanted to rip my leg off. My internal thermostat is on the fritz... hot-cold-hot-cold. I think I could get a job as a quick change artist! It's all stuff I can live with to have peace of mind. My oncologist told me that aggressive cancer like mine usually responds the best to chemotherapy and is less likely to return. Whew! That was the best news ever!

I'm looking forward to getting my mojo back and moving on. I will never forget this experience... one look in the mirror will always remind me. More importantly, I want to remember how much it meant to me to hear from friends... to know I was in their thoughts and prayers. I want to be that friend to others, listening more than talking, praying for them, offering a helping hand. I want to remember the people I've met going through treatments of their own. The doctors and nurses who work so hard are angels. The hours my husband spent sitting through treatments with me were a gift.

Next? Five years of Arimidex. Eat my veggies, dig in the garden, work on the bucket list. Reconstructive surgery if I ever work up the nerve. Two boobs or not two boobs... that is the question. I don't know what will happen in the future but I know I'll never take my health or my friends for granted again.

What a difference a year makes...

Comments (9) | Add comment

Phyllis Johnson, Health Guide

3/20/09 6:03am

Congratulations on finishing treatment. It may take some time to get all of your energy back, so build up gradually (I'd add the housework back in LAST, but I'm lazy that way!). Keep that wonderful joy of living that has been getting you through all of this.

Susie Egan

3/20/09 3:01pm

Melanie,

You may not know this but you are a true inspiration to all of us. You were even before your cancer. But now you're that times a gazillion.

I am so happy today is your last day of chemo. I hope you can go out and celebrate in a couple of days once the chemo effects wear off.

We feel so honored to be your friend.

Susie Egan

Sarah

3/20/09 4:00pm

Congratulations!

It's been so great to read all your posts, these past few months. Thank you for sharing this important milestone!!!

Sarah

PJ Hamel, Health Guide

3/20/09 4:26pm

Melanie, I remember vividly the final day of my treatment: Feb. 14, 2002. Now, every day going forward, you'll wake up and think how happy you are to be alive. Even when your "real life" returns, and you settle back into a routine, try to hold onto this wonderful feeling you have—loving life, loving your friends and family.

Good luck with the Arimidex - and keep in mind it wreaks havoc with your bones. Ask your oncologist for a baseline DEXA scan, then check it again every 2 years, minimum. You don't want to add osteporosis on top of what you've just gone through.

As for the hot-cold-hot-cold, that will abate somewhat with time... As always, time heals. You've found that for sure, as you stand at the end of your long journey through treatment.

Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Melanie. And I know, going forward, you're going to be a wonderful friend to other women going through breast cancer, whether on this site, or in your own community. Best of luck to you - PJH

Melanie

3/22/09 3:25am

Thanks for you comments, PJ. I've enjoyed reading your posts as well as your son's thoughts. Even though my 3 sisters all had cancer, I really didn't know much about the disease until I was faced with it myself. This website helped a lot. Reading about everyone's experience gave me a better sense of what to expect. In some respects, I have a bit of survivor's guilt because my treatments were pretty easy to get through. I am the lucky one. I'm so grateful my doctors have been on top of things and the treatments are so much better than they were years ago. My oldest daughter tested negative for BRCA1 which is such good news. The younger daughter hasn't been tested yet so my mother's heart is still worried for her. One step at a time and lots of prayers.

Melanie

Cancer Vixen, Health Guide

3/20/09 7:31pm

hey melanie, congrats on your last day of chemo - that's something to celebrate!

stay well!

marisa

Maimah Karmo, Health Guide

3/21/09 1:31am

Congratulations to you... this experience is life changing indeed. I wish you the best in healing, health, life and all that your heart desires. Your posting warmed my heart.

sue dyer

3/21/09 6:04am

Yay for you, Melanie. What a wonderful feeling it must be. Enjoy to the max. I can feel your elation all the way over here in Oz.

Look forward to finding out myself in about 5 weeks' time.

Melanie

3/22/09 3:03am

Hello Sue,

I read your posts and I'm so glad your treatments are going as planned. I understand what you mean about survivor's guilt. I almost feel this was too easy... not that I'd wish for anything harder. My 3 sisters did not survive when they got breast and ovarian cancer over 20 years ago. They were much too young to leave us (48, 46 & 34). I've been a guinea pig for a couple of breast cancer research studies so maybe that's why I was given the gift of extra time.

Had to laugh at your account of growing blond hair. I didn't lose all of my hair, but it's pretty darn thin, dry and ugly. Not enough left to do a decent comb-over. I think it kept shedding as normal, but new hair never grew in to replace it. It's chopped really short so I'm looking pretty butch. I just hope it doesn't come back looking like Albert Einstein!

I visited Melbourne years ago and loved it. So sad about the fires in Australia. The loss of so many lives is tragic. We had record snow and floods here near Seattle this winter. It's a helpless feeling when you can't stop a natural disaster. Makes us feel pretty small.

Keep on thinking positive thoughts... if your chemo brain can remember to do so.

Melanie

Tomorrow is my last chemo... PTL!

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