Hi All,
I had my las chemo, and though it was my last, I still have to go through the effects of the chems in my body. Today was tough...feeling burned from the inside out.
I let my family and friends know that this was my last chemo treatment, and many of them hope that it will be "easier" but it is hard to explain that the more treatments you get, the harder it is, actually. Chemotherapy is cumulative, so all the treatments stack onto each other and work together, and work harder on your body.
Lately I feel the fatigue in my muscles and neck the most. I can really feel how heavy my head is, because my neck muscles are just so tired of holding my head up! I was trapped in my blankets last night too! Because I was too weak to throw them off myself. I am so happy this part of treatment is over. There is still daily radiation ahead. I read that radiation makes you have fatigue too. But the women that have done chemo and gone on to radiation, they say that the radiation is a snap compared to chemo!
The only thing I must do is drive to the clinic EVERYDAY for 6 weeks....so that will be a total drag. I am a little nervous about sitting in a room with other women waiting for radiation....small talk is not my forte these days....and not really interested in talking about this whole mess AGAIN and AGAIN....
I am having so much heartburn, and nothing seems to quell it. I have only been taking a pain pill at night, but food is so gross and smelly. I can't get comfortable because any muscle I lay or sit on, just hurts so bad after only a few minutes.
I am only on Day 4 of chemo #4, so I know that the next 10 days will equally suck. But I am bouyed by the reality that I have no infusion ahead of me! I don't have to sit there for 5 hours and get more poison! And that makes me so incredibly happy. I honestly can't believe we have gotten this far...I rememeber thinking I could never do it...and the night before my first chemo being a ball of nerves.
All the horror stories of chemo that never happened....infections and hospitalizations and collapsed veins and permanent heart problems....all the things I worried so much about...I was lucky that it was not my story. These stories ARE rare. Most of the time Chemo DOES go quite well....I am just so amazed and so grateful...even though I am still in the squall, it seems the eye of the storm has passed over me.
I can only sit and smile.
Hi: Yah, you're in the throws of number 4, right in it, but like you said, soon no more of that. Me too was totally nervous about chemo, thinking it would do me in especially with nausea, but no, so much easier than I had imagined. I think I had fatigue from radiation in the last 3 weeks or so but it was hard to tell if it was residual from the chemo. I just tried not to push myself, and for that matter, pushing doesn't work if the 'ol body doesn't want to go. I tended to be curious about what was happening to other ladies at radiation in part to try and calm down and also to compare radiation treatment symptoms. Talking to them helped. Once a week a lady would come in with her care giver dog, I loved that and would sit longer than usual after treatment petting the dog. love, Candy