Radiation is annoying. Every morning, my alarm goes off, I get dressed and scram to the hospital. It is really high tech.

I have a badge I swipe with my picture ID to go in the VIP Rad door...that means I AM actually officially RAD. Then I have my own dressing room, and soft lighting, and soft hospital robe. But I am skipping the robes. I just wear a tank top I can slip my arm out of and flash my boob on the table. I am really good at it now. I just hop up on the table, pop it out and 90 seconds later, pop it back and I'm out, man.

I am so sick too, which doesn't help. Coughing moves my position, so they have to continue re-positioning me. So it takes about 2 minutes. Really. 30 seconds here,30 seconds there, and then again...and it's over. 

Did you know that any part of your heart that gets radiated recovers in time, but any portion of lung that gets radiated dies forever? Yup. Dies for-e-ver.....So I have a teeny tiny bit of heart and lung that is in the "window" of radiation. The doc says that I won't even notice the loss of that because it is so small.

But still. That is crazy....I lay on the table and get radiated and the techs run for cover in the bomb shelter behind me! So six weeks times 5 is 30...and I am on number 4. 26 more to go! So I will be even more rad as the weeks go on! This morning, I was too tired to go. I just could not get there on time. I have to call in and explain myself I suppose.

And.....I am working a part time teaching job at the community college. So I have been very active and it is contributing to the fatigue I still feel from chemo. But I am pushing through it. I even went to the gym and made myself work my arms, legs, torso and ran 2 mi. on the treadmill.

It felt good to move my body, even though it hurt like crazy the next day. I know I have some swelling in my arm and breast...but I think working out will help it. The body is amazing and making the best of what it has recovered. I don't want to continue to talk about my pain and this process...i mean...I don't want it to be center stage in my life for much longer. If my life was a stage, I want cancer to now be a plant in the background; a prop in the corner of the stage that you see, but don't notice. It is there, and will be a part of my life, but there is no reason for it to be the center of it all.

Get in the background, cancer...get in the corner. I am a busy girl and have other things to do now! This is the BCN blog...so it is appropriate to talk about it here...but I am just sharing how I will deal with this as the end of therapy nears. So many doctors, so many things to follow-up with...but it won't be the center of my life for too long.

I want to dance again, and sing. I want to take a ballet class again, and start circuit training and maybe run a half marathon. I want to develop my small position at the college and make it something bigger and better. I want to travel with my amazing husband again and hike waterfalls and search for obscure petroglyphs, and meet people we may never see again on our travels.