O, my. How tender, my booby!
Ouchy. Ouchy. Everything from my chest up to my neck and from my sternum to my armpit...the window of radiation area-- is brownish-red, and hot and itchy!
I take some Aleve, then put lots of udder creme on it...and a little cortizone creme at night. Now I am taking half of a darvocet to ease the pain at night so I can sleep. I am also sleepy...really sleepy and tired. And I fell.
I was having some wine on the 4th and I was tired. I missed a step and took a tumble on my back porch. I have two scraped knees, bruised elbows, hands and abrasions on the heels of my hands. I woke up in so much pain! The booby took a little hit too, so I was simply messed up. I hate falling. It happens less and less as you leave childhood, then it seems to happen more and more as you get older. So my bruises are healing now, a bit, they look dark black and blue with funky spots of purple.
I don't make any small talk at rads. I don't like it. It is also a really fast procedure--I'm in, and out in about 20 minutes. So no time to make new cancer friends, and that's fine. I rather enjoy writing to you.
Now I am on number 20 of 30 rads. I am doing "well", they say....but don't feel well. I am just exhausted all the time. I am still having chemo pain as well. My joints are stiff and hurty and my muscles sometimes just don't want to go anywhere. I had to cancel everything I had on Tuesday due to my pain and fall injuries. But my spirits are up, despite all of this because my hair is growing back!!!
Active treatment is almost over, and I have a check-up MRI and Mammo in September---it will be one year since I first heard of BCN, and first heard "breast cancer" and my name attached to it. I feel a milestone is approaching. I also am still in contact with my support group friends that are a little ahead of me to see how they are and what to expect for myself. One friend still has muscle stiffness and joint stiffness from chemo, and so I was relieved to know that I wasn't being a big baby---but actually still feeling some effects.
And many others are now choosing what hormone drugs to take, and what to do about side effects. So I am still in the loop and in the know! I love to know, you know!?
I know some ladies that did not want to know anything about what their treatment would be-- they just closed their eyes and gritted their teeth and that worked for them. But the opposite is true for me. I researched so much about the different treatments for different stages of BC, and I really felt prepared to make choices for my treatment path. Everyone has a different path. And it is so true what Phyllis and PJ Hamle have said to me, "Decide, and don't look back."
So many, "would have, could have, should have's" can make me crazy. I took my time with deciding things, talked them over with people that went through similar instances, and still took time to research it again. I would not be rushed into anything after the "gurney incident." I wrote a post about it.
I wish you didn't have to have radiation! I still don't even know if I will need it, won't know until surgery. I am hoping not!!! I saw my surgeon yesterday and she says I am responding very well to chemo, especially since I had so many masses. I see a plastic surgeon @ the end of the month. Next MRI in September, then hopefully the surgery. My a-hole of an oncologist really hasn't been communicating w/ my surgeon, she might request I see someone else since I don't ask him questions anymore because he doesn't answer them!
I kind of did what you did, just went ahead, trusted the surgeon and her advice and trusted my primary doc's recommendation of her, and then did the "don't look back". Took a while to get to surgery what with an MRI to check the other breast, something suspicious found with MRI guided biopsy, so by the time surgery happened a month or so had gone by. Then after one surgery for two lumpectomies had to have another surgery due to margins weren't clean on the original tumor, oh boy what fun. So healing from that then another surgery to put the chemo port line in, so by the time I started chemo I was ready. Felt the same for radiation, "let's get this going". Me too for rads, awful itching, burning, both sides, trouble sleeping, fatigue, udder cream up the yazoo, 2.5 cortizone cream also slathered, being told what you're feeling in terms of fatigue etc. could be effects of chemo. But it's over now and I'm in the routine of 3 month checkups with oncologist. First mamogram was ok and blood work so far shows no tumor markers. Livin for today! Here's to you and all of us who have or are going thru this and for all the wonderful ladies ahead of us who blazed the trail so we could get better treatment.