It has been a while now, I guess almost 6 months, since active treatment ended. I am taking the tamoxifen regularly. I put a little alarm in my phone and it goes off at 9pm. I try to take it before then. The alarm is set to go off until 2015!
I'm not sleeping that well these nights, so my days are a little groggy, and I can't really find my energy yet. I get some hot flashes, but mostly, this week, I can't seem to get warm and I feel like I am fighting a sore throat or a cold all the time. But I am exercising at least three times a week, even when I don't want to, or feel too tired to do it.
Afterwards, I feel better (mood and physically). I am working part-time now and just keeping everything in order on a daily basis is enough. I forget things, like appointments, or if I called and left a message for that person already...but I like to think I am (and always was) forgetful.
There is a little neuropathy in my feet that seems only to bother me when I am trying to sleep, and just the restless sleep I'm having that makes me feel like I get no rest. But I am dreaming, so I must be getting some rest.
I dreamed that my hair was in a long ponytail, and I went running, and it was so long, I was wrapping it in a bun, like I used too. I woke up feeling so happy, that it was over. It feels over. But sometimes I find myself feeling for lumps in my other breast, but both, really, and just very aware and frightened I will find another. I want to be sure that I got the right treatment for me, but I think that will come with time.
Peglove
I'm glad things are looking up for you peggie!
I also am fearful of it returning somewhere else....I think that is something most cancer "survivors" have in the back of their mind. I just took a quality of life survey on how breast cancer has affected my life/work/relationships/daily activites/etc. I didn't realize just how MUCH it has affected me. I let my husband read some of it and he was shocked, I believe, that I am fearful of death.
I've been writing "notes" on fb but I have not shared these with anyone. I am at a stand still..I feel "stuck". I have NO income coming in & my husband is on unemployment for the winter, so I had to file for medical disability, I am filling out all kinds of applications for breast cancer financial assistance. The thing is, I make lists all the time, but still can't remember what to do, or what I was supposed to do. I think the chemo and stress really does affect the memory. I can't focus...I would loose my head if it wasn't attached to my neck!
I also have lost sensation in my toes, I believe it was from the taxotere. I also have lost sensation in both sides of my back near my underarm. I can't feel anything in my right underarm.
I finally switched oncologists, I now see a woman who is a breast cancer survivor herself. Since i still receive infusion treatments every 3 weeks for herceptin, she is delaying the tamoxifen, especially since my history of blood clots.
I'm glad you are back working part-time...idk when I'm ever getting back to work, and with that new study about the implants scares me even more. But I hate having this caved in chest, i wish my sternum wasn't bigger :( I wish I was fatter.... a time it sucks to be thin. I really wanted to use my own tissue to fill in my caved in chest, but it is not possible.
So now that I have once again vented to you...sorry
Does the fatigue ever go away?? I can sleep so much then I can't sleep at all. I have also been trying to exercise and do activities to regain most of my strengh before my next surgery. It's so hard to get motivated...
When did you get your haircut? have you yet, or are you just letting it grow? I feel as though I may need a trim with this silly weird sideburn i never had before & this neck hair...does that belong?? I have never had my hair this short so it is kinda fun...for now anyways
I think my comment is as long as your post, oh and btw, I was looking for continuing education course for occupational therapy, and I did see one specifically for pilates, yoga, & tai chi :)
Hey lala!
I think the numbness does go away, partially. Mine has gotten better. It was really there during chemo. So you are still getting chemo?
Don't measure your progress yet, if you are still getting it. You will feel better when it's done. Within 21 days of it being done, you feel like a cloud has lifted off you.
And about the hair! Well, I got those rubberband hairbands, and lots of bobby pins. So I pinned the hair down and put it back for about 6 weeks, then it started being long enough to comb. I actually did get a trim, but I mean a teeny-tiny one. And it helped witht he styling a little.
I like to think we look like Halle Barry! Just rock it! I got all kinds of gels and make little mohawks, and I got a boars hair brush to get the whispy hair to go down. With the pins, gel, bands, and sleeping in my scarf still, this hair WILL BE TAMED!!!
I also like to use lots of eyeshadow, and spike my hair up. I am making the most of it, becasue some hair is better tan none, i guess!
Keep on with those applications, that is what those programs are for; times like these.
Luck! and Hugs!
Peg.