So the lumpectomy from Oct 29, was cancelled because they found a strange shaped growth in my breast, which they biopsied and it turned out to be nothing. Good. Whew. But still mad. And now very nervous because I already know what I am in for since my dress rehearsal on that day included an IV drip, nuclear isotope localization injection, and a rauchetty old nurse that was so mean, she turned out to be the worst thing about my experience at the outpatient center. 

Not that they found another tumor...not the burning sensation in my nipple and the cold in my IV arm....the mean old crabby nurse that showed no compassion or kindness when she saw I was afraid. i doubt she saw that, actually, now that I think of it. So I have had this fantasy that I go in the clinic, today or tomorrow, and say this to someone that gives a darn, that she was so awful, and I don't want to see her again on Friday...I really don't.

I don't see why I must endure her bad attitude when I am the one that is getting my breast cut into, and she's being a total crabby meany.

So really, of all the things I should worry about, this is what my crazy brain is deciding to fixate on.

Okay, change subject: I am hoping the lymph nodes are clear, and the tumor is graded a quiet, slow growing cancer so that I can avoid chemotherapy. I know the side-effects of it, and hair loss is not even on my list of concerns.

It would be great to avoid chemo, but at what cost? Without it, will my cancer come back? I know all the percentage points and crap...but can it give you piece of mind, that the cancer may have...just one tiny little micro cell, travelled around and made a home somewhere....

That price is much too high. I would rather have the chemo, bring it on! I am really ready to bust a move on this tumor. I wish they could hold it for me, so I can see it and look at it and just, I don't know...yell at it!

But it would go like this:

          "Okay you stupid cancer, you messed with the wrong FEMALE. ARE YOU READY TO DIE? You're outta me, now you got no place to hide! You are completely surrounded by healthy margins! You too, lymph nodes, don't you think you're gonna get away!"

      "There is nowhere to go...but straight to the pathology lab! Their gonna freeze you and their gonna cut you up and they WILL  make you talk! No one can save YOU NOWWWWW! I've got you right where I want you! HA! Now...the tables are turned...."

And then I go home with my Hubby and live a long and healthy life with very little pain and no other diseases ever....and the villian perishes under the radiation laser beam.

Here's to hoping Nov. 6th at 8 a.m. is not a bad ju-ju time for the annihialation of my cancer!

Love Peg =-)