Hi:

This is my first time blogging.  As you know by now I have been diagnosed with breast cancer.  The reason I have decided to keep this blog is because it is an easy way to keep you all updadte as to what's going on.  The first thing I need to say is I would never be able to do it without you.  If you have sent me a card, e-mailed or called me and I haven't gotten back to you yet, it is because I have all kinds of appointments and still need to keep up with work and daily life.  I do however appreciate all of your support.  I feel so blessed to have you in my life.  This last week has been the longest week of my life and the only reason I've been able to get through it is because of all of you.  Thank you so much for keeping me in your thoughts and prayers and for all the emotional and material help you have offered.

Through these last few weeks I have been able to get in touch with my inner crazy (believe me, really crazy).  I had never felt anxiety like this in my life.  The fear is intense, the grief is overwhelming at times.  Being a therapist it has been interesting from a clinical perspective to look at myself from the outside when I regain my rational self.

It seems like I have been living with this forever.  It is amazing to think that I only got diagnosed 5 days ago.  What a rollercoaster it has been.  However the end of the week is shapping up to be so much better than the beggining.

I need to tell you that the people at Concord Hospital Breast Care Center are the best.  They hold your hand through the whole process, are caring, compassionate and responsive and make things happen for you without burdening you at all with making phone calls, setting up appointments and such.  Thanks to them we know more about my cancer each day.  Yesterday I received a call form Dr. Hoyt, my surgeon, who personally reviewed my MRI (done on Thursday) with the radiologist and wanted to let me know that she had good news.  We knew the tumor is small (less than 2 cms) now we know is well defined.  We thought by it's location that I might not be a good candidate for lumpectomy, now we know that is still an option (not sure if I feel comfortable with that idea but will gather as much information as possible before making a decision).  There is some enlargement of the lymph nodes that we hadn't seen before but Dr. Hoyt explained that it might be a normal body reaction to the biopsy.  However to be on the safe side I will be having an axillary ultrasound and if they find anything they think needs to be biopsied, a biopsy right then and there, since she also explained MRI is not the best to check the lymph nodes.  We also know the other breast has no evidence of disease.

So things are looking up.  As soon as I have the results of the ultrasound, the breast care center will help me schedule a second opinion appointment at Dana Farber.  I will also meet with the Radiation Oncologist and hopefully the Plastic Surgeon so I have all the information I need to make my decision and schedule surgery.