Good news

By crazytherapist Wednesday, October 28, 2009

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So today I went for an ultrasound of my lymph nodes with the understanding that I might have a biopsy as well depending on what they found. The MRI had shown an enlarged lymph node. However today they found nothing so I didn't have to have another biopsy. I was able to go to my aquerobics class which was great. I had asked the people at the Breast Care Center to help me schedule a second opinion consult and I got a call from Beth Israel and I know have all the appointments with them. I have a few more appointments here and by mid-november will have all the information I need to make a decision and a plan. It obviously feels so much better to see things are progressing. My anxiety is very much under control.

I want all of you to know that I do read all your comments but have not responded to them personally. I am not ignoring you. I appreciate all of your comments and your offers of support. Between appointments and trying to keep up with daily life I unfortunately don't have much time to answer to every comment, e-mail or phone call. For all of you who have offered help, the reason I haven't asked for help yet is that I still don't know what I need. As I make a decision and get a better idea of what treatment will be and when it will happen, I will have a better idea of what help I may need and rest assured I am not afraid to ask.

I notice that I have no problem talking about any of this and may have lost some of the normal restraint people excercise over very personal information. As I was having lunch with my friends on Monday and talking very freely about cancer, body parts and bodily functions, I happened to notice how close by the next table was. Those people must have been horrified. So I apologize in advance if I shock you with any of my comments.

So that's it for today. I'm trying to keep healthy, maintain my sense of humor and get ready for what's next. I'll keep you posted

Moving Along, chemo before surgery?

Comments (8) | Add comment

Sue P.

10/29/09 2:34pm

Jessica, I am very glad that you feel comfortable enough to know that you do NOT have to use restraint when talking about it. Talk! Talk! Talk! We are here to listen. In addition, the more specific details we know, that helps to relieve a little bit of our anxiety too. Thank you for setting up this blog. We are so loooooong overdue for Mah Jong.

LOVE, Sue P.

Lesley

10/29/09 8:13pm

I'm glad to hear you have more information, and you're feeling comfortable sharing the details with us. It's good that you have such a positive outlook! We are continung to keep you in our thoghts and prayers,

The Gauthiers

Carol

10/29/09 8:32pm

Thanks for the update and we will keep up the prayers and powerful positive thoughts! Sue is right -- mah jong may be required! all the rest of the Cohens join me in sending good thoughts.

Fiddlehead Studio

10/30/09 1:32pm

Hi Jessica;

First of all, you will be able to fight this...one day at a time. Please give yourself a break, and try not to ever worry about your behaviour, or lack of,"keeping up a good face". One thing that surviving breast cancer has taught me is that first of all, I am only human, and I now have a laser sharp awareness of the fragility of life. Yes laughter, loving yourself and this imperfect body, and living in the present, and a warm embrace is mandatory. Ok, that is the daily good stuff that can occur for you during this difficult JOURNEY,(I prefer to think of being diagnosed with cancer as a tsunami or as you said the deep feeling of, "an elephant sitting on your chest "). But, I am sure that you already know all of these emotional reactions from working in your profession. This club that we are now members of is not one that we would ever, ever want to join...but it is a part of living. So..remember this will be over ...you will be able to wake up at 4 am and not think about it-at all, and this tsunami will fade into a distant memory. One of the sweetest things that happened to me during my treatments was a phone call from a friend who said that he and all of the Crew families would surround me like a warm blanket and take care of me and my familyat any point.. Wow-talk about letting the tears flow after this call! Food and having a warm belly is another important piece to this journey I think. This is a critical part of the way that your community of friends can lighten your burden. Perhaps I can make you a dinner each Tuesday night? I know that this is a busy night for your family. Let me know. My support group of friends coordinated dinner for us, and left the meals in a cooler in my breezway-they never bothered us, and we could have the dinner that night or save it for later when we got home. Luckily, as one of your many Catholic friends we have a direct line through prayer to many, many saints,( I do believe in the power of numbers).....maybe it all helps a little bit...I think?. Ok, last of all.. do not forget to Breathe..

Colleen

Peglove

10/30/09 6:58pm

Hey CrazyTherapist,

Just read your most recent post. Chemo before surgery? never knew they did that!

Hope all is well and keep up your info seeking. I had my lumpectomy cancelled while on the gurney, because the med onc found a strange shaped calcification the moment before my surgery.

It turned out to be nothing, but now I have a huge stab wound I am nursing, and I still have my tumor inside.

I am really worried and nervous. The only thing I wish to tell all women is to ask for a consultation to see the ALL THE films BEFORE SCHEDULING any biopsies or making any decisions about mastectomy or lumpectomy.

This was a cautious biopsy...but the lttle round thing wasn't seen in three weeks? They had all my films and saw it moments before my surgery? And I had to go thru the localization, and the IV insert and pain and discomfort, then sent home not knowing if this was another tumor...al could have been avoided with a consultation to see the film with my docs.

we did that on monday, and finally saw the MRI, the Mammo, and Ultra sounds together and had them show us (me and hubby) what was healthy, what was not, how to tell the difference.

Good luck with everything,and all your decisions! I know I speak for all of us when I say, do not worry about responding to us individually, just know we are here! Rooting for you!

Love, Peg.

crazytherapist

10/31/09 10:39am

Hey Peg:

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know that every time they poke and prod and/or suggest another test or consultation, the anxiety goes way up. I'm hoping that once all the tests and appointments are done and we are able to get the thing out, the anxiety will be easier to control. I'm not sure about you, but I would have had surgery the day they diagnosed me. I do however ubderstand the need of gathering as much information as possible, getting a second opinion and having as much certainty as it's possible to have before going in to surgery. As my surgeon put it, "we like to avoid surprises as much as we can". So hang in there. breathe deeply, know that a lot of people are rooting for you, including me and remember "this too shall pass" and hopefully we will be talking and laughing about this for many years in the future

Stacey

10/30/09 9:18pm

Hi Jessica, Thanks for sharing this information with us. I am glad you are feeling able to do that, I think talking about is a great form of medicine. I agree with everyone, that a Mah Jong night is long over due. You are in our daily thoughts and prayers.

Love Stacey

Anonymous

11/12/09 11:10pm

Is it true MRI can tell you how big the tumor is and ultrasound can tell you if you need your lymphnodes tested, neither of this was true for me in 2004. In fact I am thing fine needle biopsy for large chest women of course by a radiolgist and ultrasound only show cells, not tissue, and here is a question is it true that 50% of women who had fine needle biopsy were told tumor was approx1.5cm small then in surgery it's over 2.1cm and has spread to the first sentinental node?

Good news

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