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Beginning of the end

By Racuh Wednesday, December 02, 2009

So, Im almost done with treatment! I just had the first of my last infusions today. I have 2 left after today. I'll be done on the 15th. Im so... happy? I mean I am happy, but its weird to think I just wait now... for it to come back- for it not to come back. I don't think that feeling of impending doom is ever going to let up. 

 

Also my oncologist agreed to give me MRI's now. I am happy about that, they take longer but they're not radiation. I have been reading a lot of studies about the over prescribed usage of CAT scans and linking them to cancer. It's a giant freaking x-ray... we know that's not good. Considering everything. I'd like to not turn into chernobyl anytime soon. 

 

I've decided to put together a charity art show for sarcoma research (sorry BC ladies) I got a missing boobie but sarcoma is an underfunded under-loved area of cancer research, and it's what I have. My oncologists eyes light up like flashbulbs... he was telling me about tax codes for charities, guest lists and that he wanted to give a speech and buy art. RIGHT ON! I figure I need to do SOMETHING in appreciation of not dying. I'll make a boatload of cash for research and patient care. I have a LOT of friends in the industry (more famous than myself)... I need help coming up with a theme for the show. I want the different styles of art to have a common theme. 

 

Aside from that I think I might teach an art therapy class. Being creative is a great way to unload some of the fears you have roiling around your brian. 

 

I think nude modeling would be cool too... got body issues? What better way to get over them than to show them to a bunch of discerning art students?  I think it would have been neat to draw a cancer patient in life drawing when I was in school. So much I wanna do now that I am nearly done with cancer treatment.

Last day of chemo. Breast reconstruction?
PJ Hamel, Health Guide
12/ 2/09 4:23am

Well, congratulations!!! It is indeed scary to think about being done treatment - which is weird, because it's been your goal all along, and now you've got some angst. Cpompletely natural. It's the "Who's going to take care of me now?" syndrome. In fact, I've written a post on it... Time heals, Tracey; gradually you'll get your confidence in the future back. Not like it once was, but you'll definitely feel better.

 

Art show sounds like it'll be a GREAT fund-raiser. Theme: How about transformation? Hope you raise a TON for sarcoma research. As you say, incredibly under-funded and in need of all the help it can get. And you're definitely the woman to get things going in the right direction!

 

Good luck as you head down the chemo home stretch here... I'm sending you healing. PJH

Phyllis Johnson, Health Guide
12/ 2/09 5:19am

I love the art show idea.  There are quite a few complicated requirements to setting up your own charity.  You might look at the institutions that are already doing sarcoma research or existing foundations and make the one you like best the recipient of the money you raise.  When my cousin's daughter was undergoing diagnosis for sarcoma (it turned out she didn't have it), Dana Farber in Boston was mentioned as a leading sarcoma center, but I'm sure there are other institutions near you.  You can designate your charitable contribution specifically for sarcoma research, assistance to sarcoma patients, or whatever you want to focus on.

12/ 3/09 8:04pm

I have been trying so hard to get my Dr. to order an MRI instead of mammogram and they refuse to heed my wishes. sounds like you have a great oncologist. Just wanted a break from radiation for awhile, ( I had 33 rounds that finished in April of 08 and now I am at the stage you were speaking of.  Lots of follow up tests and worry.  Don't really feel up to fighting the Dr's about not having mammo's for a yr. but I am sticking to my guns a little longer.

12/ 4/09 5:18pm

I really like my oncologist. He's a cool chap.. cute too. The only concern he had about the MRI is that it takes forever and I might be uncomfortable. I had 38 rounds of RADS so I am like NO MORE RADIATION. Plus all the other damn things like PET/CT scans and the like. I am just over it. Like I said, chernobyl! But I listed some studies about the adverse effects of excessive radiation exposure from tests. Maybe you can ask again and tell him your reasoning about why you don't want to be exposed to radiation further? I haven't had the MRI accepted by my insurance yet. It's one thing for the doc to be fine with it, but another for insurance to pay extra for an MRI. 

 

Good luck! Bust some heads!

12/ 4/09 7:47pm

Thank's so much for the support.  You are the first to understand or feel the way I do.  I will keep trying.

12/ 4/09 4:55pm

I am so hapy you are almost done! 

 

I love the idea of having a benefit for sarcoma! YOU ROCK!

 

 

12/ 4/09 9:27pm

Congartulations!! you are almost there..:)...!!!

 

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By Racuh— Last Modified: 12/19/10, First Published: 12/02/09