It's 2 ½ months later now, and I'm doing - ok. I don't know what I'm supposed to feel like or what normal is, although as I talk to other friends who have been through this before, I feel like there is no normal way to handle the grief of losing a parent. I feel anxious, sometimes I feel sad, I feel an emptiness inside that will never be replaced. But I also feel strong, and I feel inspired as I think about how Mom lived her life. I feel like she's always watching me now when she couldn't before (no matter what her teacher instincts taught her), and I want to make her proud. I feel very strongly that the timing of Mom's death and the actual progression of her illness all happened with the purpose of allowing her family to be as prepared as possible when she actually passed away.
Thank your for sharing that story. Your mother's lovely spirit and courage lives on in your words. Following her example and focusing on the 10 extra years she had may help you come to terms with your loss. I identified with so much of what you wrote because I'm going through a similar experience with my father right now. You have expressed so well much of what I have been feeling.
Thanks Phyllis. I hope things are going well with your father, I'll keep you in my thoughts!