We always expect kindness from women. It's gladly given, easily received. But the most memorable instances of kindness I experienced during breast cancer came from the most unexpected source: men.
Breast Cancer Support from Men: Bearing Wit...
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I teared up reading this one...
Sarah
Thursday, August 02, 2007 at 12:06 PM -
Kindness from unexpected sources
Marc Heyison
Friday, August 03, 2007 at 12:57 PMPJ
I glad this finds you well and here is continued good health.
I was glad to read that you did receive support from a lot of men who care about you and your well being. Men do want to help and if given the oppotunity are tremendously caring for the ones they love and who are dear to them.
I was saddend if this is even the right feeling that you felt this was from an "unexpectedsource." We as men need to be seen as an expected source of comfort and love that the women we love will turn to in time of need such as life threatening disease as breast cancer. Even more so, we need to be proactive and know we need to be there both emotionally and physically side by side.
When we get to a point that women who are dealing with breast cancer see men as the "norm" for support and comfort and men feel that the norm is to do what needs to be done than I know Men Against Breast Cancer and the many others who emphaize the education and empowering of men to be there for the women they love
is doing what we set out to do.
I can honestly say from my experiences and travels that by and large men are fitting into this role quite naturally.
replyre: Kindness from unexpected sources
PJ Hamel
Friday, August 03, 2007 at 01:36 PMI agree, Marc - I've found men very supportive. Just in a different way. I guess what I was trying to get across (not very successfully!) was not that the support was unexpected; but that the way it was offered was unfamiliar (and thus unexpected). I had to learn that a man sitting quietly beside me was support. That support isn't always delivered verbally (as it usually is with women), but through actions, or in silence: bearing witness as a means of support is a powerful concept. Thanks for your caring comment- PJH
replyre: re: Kindness from unexpected sources
Anonymous
Tuesday, August 07, 2007 at 09:19 AMPJ--
I think you did a great job...I just want to make sure that we as men are there with you side by side both emotionally and physically as we should be.
Only the best,
Marc
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right around the part about your co-worker buying you the laptop to help support you through breast cancer.
What a wonderful collection of anecdotes highlighting men's responses to your breast cancer fight.
Thanks, PJ.
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